Bad Ideas Thread

Howbout a disable mouse function that forces users to navigate only using the keyboard?

I actually like the idea of achievements.
C-4 techno: make a track where all notes are C-4
Mousecatcher: make a track only using the mouse
Modulator: make a track that modulates to a different key than started
Keymaster: awarded only after making tracks in all musi al keys
Primesignature: make a track where the time signature is a prime number (3, 5, 7, 11, etc…)
Trackertron: make a track only using the keyboard

That’s all I’ve got for now. I also think Renoise RPG is a good idea.

I guess my primary concern right now is that Renoise doesn’t look enough like FL Studios, which, as perfection, everyone should model their DAWs after. I whipped up this mockup in a couple hours to give an idea of how much better and stylish Renoise would look if it was more like FL, and how much the workflow would be improved.

Also, retina scanning for security so nobody steals your copy of Renoise.

It needs a expander for mad distorted mics

Randomly, when saving a song Renoise will delete it instead.

No backward compability.

Sorry, can’t stop thinking about bad ideas.

Automatic note arranger for multi-sample instruments, only it arranges all the notes completely random.

Well, the first part is actually a serious suggestion.
Something that recognizes the usual note codes like C4 D#2 A#3 and so on in the sample name and then arranges the samples by assigning them to the corresponding basenote.
The rest i could do myself, like expanding the samples to several notes and stuff, it’s just that assigning keys bit is sooo boring. ^_^/>

Instead of the demo generating a hissing noise through ReWire in the demo, instead replace it with a Super Meat Boy-type announcer screaming “REGISTER NOW!!!”

The boxed version should come with a paper dildo.

Renoise “Maya Edition”: released as freeware but time limited to 26,000 years of usage, after which you have to install it again

Renoise Apocalypse Edition: free, but will uninstall itself today at 23:59:59

Free Dunkin donuts coupon and a free starbucks coffee coupon. (So cops will register Renoise too)

Renoise Right Thinking Edition: prevents you from writing and releasing material that uses information from leaked government documents by notifying the CIA to come pick you up and give you a cage to spend some time naked in, say for a few years without trial or sunlight. Has inbuilt discouragement messages pointing out that you should avoid engaging in conservative shills and pointing out equivocation, especially in song form. Ease of use ensures ‘niceness’ and long periods of resigned silence. Auto-correct melody tool fosters anthems that celebrate the State and the existing power structure. File integrity systems and progress reports make sure you think corruption of Pisces is actually some form of Aquarius. Expensive upgrades available every 30 seconds. Highly desirable.

subliminal mind programming through rapid flashes in pattern editor.

Click to view contents

… in the renoise demo, adds 1dB of some subliminal vocal orders like for example : “I buy renoise I’m happy” in a spectral areal located between 16KHz & 22Khz.

Renoise Christmas version, where you can open gifts (samples or cool new instruments/effects) that will be on the screen under the christmas tree (replacing pattern editor) + every song will be enhanced by jingle bell line to make it sound X-mas-y… and Renoise End of the Year edition, that will introduce lightworks instead of scopes and spectrum and the letters on the monitor would melt to make you feel drunk. And at 1. 1. 00:00:00 it will completely restart, delete everything you’ve ever done with it and begin with just factory settings and demo songs :D telling you: “This year you have to finish a track every week!”

Require a Renoise USB dongle.

… in order to keep your Renoise-registration valid and active.

Frankly that isn’t a bad idea…