Homework Assignment: Define "funk."

In your own words, define the term “Funk.” Extra points for vivid funk-related imagery.

Additional marks can also be attained for definitions of the following terms:

  • Fonk
  • Groove
  • Phunk
  • Fμnq
  • Gruv

When a man and a lady love each other very much they get certain urges and…

Oh sorry… you said funk

Amazingly, you were quite possibly on the right track.

In the words of Old Gregg…

Upbeat music with a slight Jazz influence, typically featuring slap style bass and synthesizers, played by fabulous individuals in fabulous costumes.

hahaha, I’d forgotten about this.
The first two series of the boosh are real good.

You, good sir, DID NOT READ THE ASSIGNMENT PROPERLY!

It plainly said “in your own words”

That said, Old Gregg gets an A+

Good job. You have succeeded in de-funktifying tha funk.
D-

FUNK is slave to the rhythm and master of the groove, pulsing and breathing passion
of energetic intensity to set your boss’ house on fire and scream on the top of your
lungs: music is not in your blood, music IS your blood!

It has a certain smell…

…should never be used as an verb

Ok… Ill have another go. When a man, his bass guitar and a horn section love each other very much…

Was my definition supposed to also embody the spirit of the genre? I gave you a pretty literal definition.

If I had feelings, sir, they might be hurt!

Funk is all about the funk and nothing but the funk.

When people want the funk, you’d better give 'em the funk.

When you free your mind, your ass might follow.

Funk is complete fun.

Genre wankers enjoy these popular terms: funk, discofunk, electrofunk, jazzfunk, boogiefunk, partyfunk, blaxploitation, p-funk, getawayfunk (although I might be one of the few people who use this term, it’s like blaxploitation but a whole lot faster), porngroove, funky soul and funkrock.

Examples?

Funk: Kool & The Gang - Jungle Boogie (yup, this actually sums up what funk is all about in all of its simplicity: groovy horns, addictive vocals, pumping funky breaks, funky clavinet and popping bass)
Discofunk: KC & The Sunshine Band - Do It Good
Electrofunk: Midnight Star - Operator
Jazzfunk: Herbie Hancock - Hang Up Your Hang Ups
Boogiefunk: Gaston - (Here a funk, there a funk) Everywhere a funk-funk
Partyfunk: Kool & The Gang - Hollywood Swinging
Blaxploitation: Theme from Medical Center, Black Belt Jones, Shaft…
P-Funk: Parliament - Bobgun
Getawayfunk: Premier of the Funk - Showfunk
Porngroove: Jimmy Bo Horne - Let Me Be Your Lover
Funky Soul: Marlena Shaw - Woman of the Ghetto (live)
Funkrock: Funkadelic - Red Hot Mama

Then there’s James Brown and the J.B.'s funk.

Funk is happy.

Funk is danceable.

Funk is an alliance of all the people, all the musicians and all the music listeners.

You don’t really need a reason to funk.

“Gotz tha b f0nkeh!”

Fonk: Someone referring to my personal music archive “f0nk”
Groove: Is in the heart.
Phunk: Funk for the youth who like to play with letters.
Fμnq: Something Aphex Twin might say.
Gruv: That’s just plain silly.

Wah.

I take issue with this. As we speak I’m working on some “Doom Funk” and it ain’t happy. :o

Funk is generally all about repeating a kickass grooving beat and rythminc chord progression so many times that you start to have urges to press stop before you throw up.

Okay, I like some funk. But many funks are just too long when they could be better as short and intense.

You see, a pimp’s love is very different from that of a square.

Gruv: is a glove a pimp may plausibly wear, on his pimp hand. that may indeed stretch out, far and wide. (could also be a japanese to engrish translation)

funk feels good.

haha! wikipedia: