I produce beats.
Then, if the conversation continues, i go “You know how how landscape paintings with religious themes was all the rage during the dark ages? Or like, how they didn’t have television? Ya, my music is the opposite of that.”
yah, sloppy. the one time i played with autotune, i got some randomly fluctuating pitch that was trying to “correct” itself without setting any of the parameters, just turn it on and go: a couple weeks later i heard this “effect” of sorts (really, the artist doing nothing, or i suppose to lend them credit, choosing to do nothing?) in some shit-hop, and felt pissed that an artist would use an effect without even changing one parameter, and get f****ing paid.
If you say ‘I make beatz’…people understand that even though I loathe the term ‘making beatz’.
examples of something i might or could say:
skinny puppy use to make music to fight animal cruelty.
-so i make music for dead animals.
rage against the machine used their music to profit off of teenage angst, the system, the fear of not knowing fear and disappeared like Exxon.
-so… i use my music to promote passive indignation.
in the ancient times, music was used for communication.
in these modern times, music is being used for disinformation.
-i’m good though, cuz i don’t listen to it!
Luke Skywalker joined the darkside too… -
-yeah, Darth Vader was one bad mother-_ Yoda Please…
Personally I have found that the most lucrative response to this common question (“Do you play any instrument?” etc) is just to say:
“Yeah, I am a sound designer, so I have to know how to control quite a few instruments and how to play them. You know, when you watch a movie and you hear all this music and sound effects that creates certain moods? Well, I am the guy who creates those moods – it’s a very difficult and important task, you know. I hope to get an Oscar award for best sound when I grow up!”
Don’t go into the specific means of production, that’s not relevant. The key to make people interested is to anchor your productions into a wider context that people can relate to themselves (such as movies, flash applications, video- and computer games, etc). But the crucial thing is to answer in a way that makes it clear from the outset that you are on top of things and that you’re proud over what you do.
Entirely autotuned. Right from the beginning you can hear the notes jumping instead of sliding. (Listen with headphones)
Either she had a bad day or her new producer is less experianced. Because in “Get out” it worked better.
Mushen is right, you can hear that slappy used autotune-effect in many pop songs by now.
But it’s not entirely bad though. These pop songs are good compositions IMO. I actually liked ‘a little too late’ now that I heard it. And I honestly prefer an too strictly wellformed voice instead of intonations.
I’m getting offtopic. Back on topic:
I feel you! And if I really want to act more important than I am, I say: “I make jazz music with the computer.” Then the computer isn’t as important as the genre. And I go with Bantai’s A. They should actually hear your music instead of judging your say. So be part of the current generation and turn your cell phone up loud to let everyone hear your music squeaking through the ear-raping speaker 
Nah…but tracking is a good filter though. Not everyone has to know our music. If someone is really interested, then plan A will work out. Otherwise let them do their thing and we do ours.
I just tell 'em that I make digital music on my computer. I used to say that I make electronic music on the computer, but these days I call a spade a spade.
The cheapest line is simply:I’m a producer, which is some person who puts a band together and let them record the music that i wrote.
Nobody needs to know that your band is inside a computer.
Here’s a typical branch of that conversation: 
You - Yeah, I use Renoise
Uninformed - You mean Reason?
You - No
Uninformed - You mean like Fruity loops? Cubase? Acid?
You - No, no no. Renoise. You ever heard of Trackers?
Uninformed - You mean like bittorent?
You - No. Ever hear of the demoscene?
Uninformed - You mean like shareware?
You - No. Chiptunes?
Uninformed - (blank expression) ??? Why would somebody write a song about chips?
You - (sigh)… Anyway, the roots of the scene are pretty oldschool, from the Commodore & Amiga days although things have changed a lot since then.
Uninformed - OHH! So you write like Nintendo sounding music then?
You - Goddamnit NO. I hate you!
I think it’s best to say something like “I make music on my computer,” then just change the subject. I don’t know why so many of you want to over complicate everything.
yeah - just say no.
person: so i hear you make music - what do you play?
you: no.
person: oh? i thought…
you: no. I heard you touch children?
person:…
com·pose (km-pz)
v. com·posed, com·pos·ing, com·pos·es
v.tr.
2. To make or create by putting together parts or elements.
3. To create or produce (a literary or musical piece).
Snipped just the relevant portions thats pertain to what we do.
I don’t mention renoise or a pc. A computer is involved in some way with most of the music people like to nowadays so I don’t think mentioning it is relevant.
Most of us have midi controllers so we are playing instruments. I don’t enter my notes using the computer keyboard.
The above definition encompasses producing as well as you can see.
Do what I do and just simply say you compose music.
That is what all of us do.
i really don’t care a lot about people that wonder why i am not playing an instrument when i claimed to “make music” as a hobby beforehand. none of these buddies could ever value or roughly understand what i am doing nor would the conversation turn into a direction which could be considered intresting for anyone of us. so i usually do myself and that respective being the favour to simply skip topic.
fckng brilliant 
Q: Ohh, you compose music. What instrument do you play?
A: I play Microsoft natural ergonomic Keyboard 4000
I play qwerty
i’m glad the best thing about being crazy is never having to explain yourself.
no what is that supposed to mean? 2-unlimited was great!!! 
You don’t live in America… Where to “pump people up” for every Friday night midnight bowling, every Sporting event, every school dance concert, they have to play “Y’all ready for this” first.
That song makes me want to mass murder people. And I know it is the 1st thing Americans think of when they hear the term Electronic music.
Wait! I did a google search for “Y’all ready for this”. What is the second hit???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4N1ZxM9q6c
Oh yes, and I live in North Carolina…
GOD DAMNIT
the song is “Get ready for this” and its not 2 Unlimited’s fault that one of their song got abused in US 
Back in days when 2 Unlimited was active they rocked hard