Schizophrenia Awareness


(ffx) #61

The DARPA interface goes in direction brain->outer world, not the other way round. It will be surely used to handle as many trading apps at once as possible, or controlling a military drone or so, improving profit and “efficiency”. No way humans will be able to manipulate the brain using electrical impulses in a sane way ever, they do not even understand themselves, or have any good idea at all.


#62

Yes, it is surprising how cold and how lacking in empathy some of these psychiatrists can be, having no problem with forced human experimentation against a persons wishes. They try to cover it up by saying they used ‘volunteers’ for their experiments…forced volunteers, that is.
In my view a volunteer is a volunteer, a ‘forced volunteer’ is a contradiction in terms. If you are forced to do something you are not a volunteer right?

Im not trying to convince people to stop taking medicines, but looking at psychiatry’s history and record of serious and sickening criminal offences, with total disregard for humanity its clear to me that psychiatrists can not be trusted. A well known example of forced human experimentation is MKULTRA and ARTICHOKE military experiments. There are many other examples. Maybe the DARPA technology has been made possible with data from those kinds of fascist experiments…

Anyway ( @ffx ), you say DARPA interface can only go from brain to outer world, but look at this quote from the article…

“Among the program’s potential applications are devices that could compensate for deficits in sight or hearing by feeding digital auditory or visual information into the brain at a resolution and experiential quality far higher than is possible with current technology.”

This kind of technology will surely be used for brainwashing and interrogation.
I guess their rationale is that this technology is the ultimate ‘lie detector’, if they use these implants they will not have to use physical torture during interrogation because they will have the information they need directly from the brain. However it can also be used for lifelong mind control, brainwashing, creating manchurian candidates etc.

They may have some version of this technology which doesnt require an implant, or perhaps employs the use of a gas or ‘neural dust’ which can be inhaled or ingested before signals can be recieved. Take the example of what is being called ‘accoustic technology’ attack at US embassy in Cuba. Embassy employees suddenly came under attack from ‘auditory signals’…very strange (link to article below).

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/sep/14/mystery-of-sonic-weapon-attacks-at-us-embassy-in-cuba-deepens


(ffx) #63

Yes ok, my argument was only that humanity is far away from understanding the brain at all, so the manipulation techniques will be extremely raw, like you would not understand a cpu die logic at all, only knowing what region is supposed for and then would add put radiation or electricity on some areas. This is also a system, psychological and philosophical related problem and that’s why I think you do not need to be too afraid of such an approach that they could control you. Surely they will be able to control some hormon levels, may causing unusual behaviour or so. But with this kind of social system, they will never reach anything in deep here, since the motivation always is profit in the end. And who aims for such weird ways to improve profit is far away from any kind of self awareness, which I think is essential to truly understand the brain.


(Zer0 Fly) #64

Yes the history has many sick and sad incidents. I mean, just look at nazi germany, there they found the heavily disabled people just cost money and would seem not bring benefit to the master race, and then started just killing some. They had to stop though when enough people had heard about such crimes, as many people would have disabled relatives the loved. Jews were less lucky, as most of their relatives…were also jews…

But yes, also less totalitarian societies did their atrocities in the past, I mean insuline shocks, lobotomies. With current medication it still is a very problematic situation for many psychotics, like the side effects making them a very hard life or ruining their health. Also electro shocks to the brain still seems to be performed, in milder ways that in history, but still…the just don’t seem get that frying the brain into self maintainance mode so anything fancy would be surpressed, be it good or bad or both, doesn’t mean healing it from it’s broken filters.

Also not to forget the sane that were put into psych wards to “get them out of the way”. This still happens I believe. It is very comfortable, as you cannot measure insanity and any risk of the “insane” loosing control. Also nobody would believe a declared insane, and when the person becomes agitated out of fear of being abused this way, it could be comfortably taken as a sane of dangerous psychotic agitation…

About humans using tech to manipulate, well well. Read old spiritual books, or poetry, and if you guess right it seems people were experiencing madness with hallucinations ever since humans existed. It is just seldom named by what it is, maybe because people weren’t mentally apt and ready by knowledge to describe their experiences in a neutral way, and maybe also they would have had to fear being put into some dungeon to other “insane” people or tortured as witches or “heretics”, so they rather not named things directly out of fear for their lives.

I am waiting for the first true signs of people trying to artificially cause sensory and mental augmentation. Like trying to make some fool believe he hears gods voice telling him to kill some liberal politician, stuff like that. But I guess tech will have to stand back behind real psychosis hallucinations, as natures ways seem still way ahead of human technical knowlegde… Also

Yes, I experienced a lot, just about anything in consciousness can be manipulated or augmented by psychotic Illusion: Psychosis is the brain bomb. I found it always leaves some space and possibility to make it possible to overcome the delusion, even if it is very subtle. Like nature is hard, and made humans wicked, but that does not mean it will always be unfair. And its purpose seems not to be destruction, but generation of experience and abilities to overcome difficult situations. In this way, real psychosis seems at times to rather not destroy or wire up persons instantly, but rather let them live through a wild journey, that can sometimes end in destruction, but for many also can have the kind of happy end that surviving an adventure like this can bring. Also spontaneous remission seems always possible, many psychotics experience it.


(LofiMat) #65

Mann with your musical skills why not just start making some TRAP Beatz finaly and call it a career. You would get any how much you like of weed from all over the globe plus oil plus pills PLUS the hottest CHIKs in the Game. But you on a internet - forums talking to emo-rapperz and zivi bullen about your stupid little headaches while a whole new World is waiting for ya just one step outside of your stupid little self-made BOX. Go nfor it and thank me later for saving ya removed because offensive personal accussing ATTACK! :hot_face:

Removed because off shameless seflpromo :sunglasses:


#66

Having something go wrong in your mind and give you problems like that must seriously suck, so hope you can recover from it as soon as possible. Whatever you think is good to get rid of the problem, just go with that. For me, I dont trust psychiatry or the chemicals they claim are medicines…maybe its better to just give up red meat and eat fish everyday instead, do a lot of excerise everyday, drink a lot of water. The kind of excercise to choose is one that is fun and that you can practise at home. Juggling with those big heavy juggling balls is cool, or just punching into the air like shadow boxing, practising different angles, or just inventing dance moves. Just anything which gets more blood flowing to the brain, more oxygen to the brain.

The thing is with psychiatry is that their diagnosis is bullshit. They claim to follow a ‘biomedical model’ to identify ‘diseases’ which are treatable with chemicals. It doesnt make sense to force someone to take a chemical or to diagnose psychosis just by looking at them and making something up. I think people with real medical doctorates can understand that psychiatry is largley bullshit. They cannot show the root cause of the ‘disease’ for which there is a ‘medication’…They just make things up.

As for the mind control technology stuff coming from neuroscience… Its here already. The public should be made aware before its too late. For example look at this technology in the video below which generates speech directly from thoughts or from hearing someone read the sentence to them. For the directly recording thoughts part, they have to look at the part of the brain which controls, throat, tongue and lips…its a little more complex than hearing a senstence read to you…but still, the technology to do that is coming.

Looking at the all-intrusive, all-seeing, zero privacy style totalitarian surveillance that is up and running already, it wouldnt surprise me if certain governments arouond the world started a surveillance program to monitor ‘thought-crimes’ ( with technology such as the DARPA brain interface and ‘thought to speech’ technology mentioned above ). First the research would be done by military psychiatrists ( for the interrogation and drugging part ), and neuroscientists ( for the actual medical knowledge part ) by force, then they would introduce it to the rest of the population.

Look how intrusive they are already with the whole “information awareness office” thing.
This is also a DARPA project. Total surveillance means everything…emails, text messages, GPS location, facial expressions, facial recognition, credit card transactions, passport location, phonecalls…and so on…everything. Wouldnt surprise me if they found a way to surveil thoughts as well.

They are already at that stupid stage where its like, maybe you just dont like ham that much…must be a terrorist…maybe you just dont like getting drunk and baseball or american football…must be the terrorist!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_Awareness_Office


(Zer0 Fly) #67

“seriously suck” well that names it in a very understated manner. I don’t know how often I wished I’d rather be dead than having to stand the tornment any longer. I mean, I constantly have something sick on my mind which I perceive as “externally controlled”, at the same time my abilities to consciously reflect what I’m exposed to, as well as other critical abilities of mind, can seemingly be blinded or temporarily turned off. No pauses now since over a year, only certain phases where it turns to milder, “friendlier” brain frying informations to entice me to keep on. It is like a stream of agony running through my mind, trying to take me with it.

Saying I had wished to be dead very often, one thing I have to say to other psychotics is “don’t kill yourself”. Stand your man, no state is permanent, one can go through the suffering to reach the other end. And what the suffering does to oneself is not only destruction, but also can have character shaping effects. And as hard as the illusion sometimes might seem, it always seems to come with possibilites to resist and maintain oneself, it just isn’t always appearent. Reading stories and accounts of other psychotic people gave me confidence, always kind of the same story, and what seems so drastic while one is trippen never seems to happen.

I have tried to make profession on resisting this shit. Till now it kind of works, the thing is indeed not only threatening, but can in itself also provide help to go one’s own paths. I mean, I experience fishy voices that threaten me, even with death and much worse things, and that seem to be eager to drive me to do certain totally impossible things for them. But I take their fishyness and the improbability of what I should do are just signs to motivate me to stand stronger against them, to reject anything they say to me and to also reject any accomodations that they tricked me to make towards them in the past. This thing seems to be a drilling into being more self-determined, either that or you succumb. Just in the moment when it is happening, I usually cannot remember that and have to react with other skills to keep their influence out of my life. With lots of dedication it seems to work - I just don’t do what the voices tell me. I know of stories where people did what they were told and they normally ended psychotic in the ward. So I say to myself “Resist the beginnings wherever possible”.

It seems like, the more you take from the “voices”, and the more you do what they tell you, the greater is their influence. However the more you resist, the more control over your life will be retained by you. I wish I had known this earlier. “Positive” or “healthy” deeds and mindframes, in the psychotic stories but even stronger in the real world, seem to have the property of also bringing freedom as well as casting positive entities into the mindfuck that can help yourself maintain your will against that of the negative ones.

That doesn’t change the fact that it is pure nazi shit and sickening poison of mind that I’m constantly exposed to. I often wish I could cry, to have just a little relief, but I cannot anymore, my emotions are most of the time blinded by the psychosis, too. I wish I could pray for peace, I started to believe in god recently, but the psychosis shit is like putting an iron fist around my inner voice and thoughts whenever I try to be self-determined with them, so I cannot engage in prayer anymore.

Also I am often very sad, I’m 38 now, and sick since I was 20, I never had a normal life, never was able to work for my own money, lost so many friends, couldn’t build a family, couldn’t make most of my dreams reality, cannot drive a car, …yes, life fucked me hard, though even inside this vault there are sweet things at times, that make me go on. Like before last year I thought I had managed to finally build something sane and have a mind unfettered by the delusion crap, just for the psychosis to fire up again harder than it ever did before.

And so…I try to resist on, just live into the day and make my music, nothing more, nothing less. Recently my state of mind seems to permit me working on my music again sometimes, and this is a thing that makes me very happy in the midst of mental poisoning.

I do not believe it be some implant shit or government control or stuff like that. It runs too deep into consciousness, current tech cannot achieve this I think. I guess it is a spiritual thing. Maybe it is just about…me having autistic tendencies, being unable to understand or submit myself to any form of hierarchy. I was born this way, and its been the motto of my life, “I’d rather be dead than slave”, as well as another motto seems to be about standing against bullying. Under such premises I can somtimes read something educational between the lines of my psychosis.


#68

I dont know what to say. That sounds terrible.
Hope you can get rid of that somehow.
Maybe long periods of excerise everyday could help you just increasing general health of your heart, veins and arteries…maybe pumping blood more efficiently getting more oxygen to the brain. Have you tried that? Or somehow troubleshooting different things like ‘do you smoke cigarrettes - give them up’, ‘do you drink enough water - drink more’, ‘do you have knots in your muscles from too much time at the computer - do more stretches’ etc.
Like looking at it as if it is something wrong with the body causing the mindfuck problem.
Ive never really experienced anything like that so I dont really know what to say other than that. It seems logical to assume that it must be some problem in your body, probably bloodflow, spine, nerve or lung health related thats causing the problem in the brain. Or it could be something more obscure, a virus or fungal / bacterial infection somewhere in the body that you are not immune to and cant overcome?

Right at the beginning of it, how did it start? Did something trigger it?


(Zer0 Fly) #69

Yes, I do things for my health and most important for the battered psyche. I don’t drink or do cigarrettes anymore, eat no meat, take a walk every day. I should revive my physical excercises soon, I already did train my body and it helped, but I cannot focus on many activities as my energy I can put into those is very limited - I’ve had other projects recently. I have a whole assortment of strategies against the pain. I think each of the components makes my life a little more bearable, all together it probably makes a difference between forced stay in a psych ward and my current situation. If I had done nothing, I’d be in a ward, I’m pretty sure. I mean I’ve a really bad enemy IN my head, still I live kind of normal life. Don’t know what caused the psychosis for me. I remember when I was a teen, I was slowly getting weird thoughts, gaps in attention, and changes of perception, and then over the course of a few years the psychosis kicked in.

Learning to master renoise was btw. one of the components helping me to get out of the mud. I was really down when the sickness first hit me, over the course of many years I kind of pulled myself halfway out of the dirt by never giving up. After some years just lying in Bed, smoking cigarrettes and being brainfucked with ugly stuff. Music is such a good thing for the psyche, and making some myself can be a very fulfilling experience.


#71

I guess I cant really say anything that would help with what your dealing with but im curious about some things and have a bunch of questions about it…

Do you have constant noise around you where you live, like near an airport or a busy road?
Is there any kind of constant fumes being put out from somehere? Traffic? Your boiler / water heater? Your neighbours boiler / water heater? Could it be stuffy air and carbon monoxide or some other type of fumes fucking with you?

Maybe there are some bad people around you? Do you have annoying neighbours? Loud, irritating thug type people drinking and shouting, laughing idiotically? That kind of constant stress can fuck with peoples minds sometimes.

Would you say the psychosis started before or after you saw a psychiatrist? Was it a direct reaction to some hardcore drug or something? Like you are still tripping somehow but in a bad way?

As for the voices problem, are they political messages that your getting? Like someone trying to convince you to be anti foreign, anti immigration…talking about the economy followed by xenophobic, racial kinds of statements?

Yeah your work with lua stuff is awesome in renoise, I checked out your harmonic frequencies filter thing, it sounds awesome. One of the best effects ive heard in renoise.


(Zer0 Fly) #72

Dude, I wish it was some environmental factor messing with me, and I could stop it by moving elsewhere. I did live in healthy environments, rural etc. Yes and you are right, stress or environment poison or health problems can make it worse. As I said the shit is going on in my head since 20 years or so, I moved often during that time. Well, when I was a teen, I knew “bad” people, smoked bad dope, stuff like that. Maybe I just hit some tainted weed, or got poisoned unwittingly on some party by sick people, with effects that kicked in much later. Maybe my delusion is right, and the bad people were satanists and put a hex on me, to get rid of their punishments and let me live through them instead, or to be able to kill or spiritually reap me for their profit. I better try to not believe that, as there seems little that could be done about it without downing oneself with it at the same time much worse than it was before.

Hey, maybe I even deserved it by the rules of life - talking spiritually, one factor of my sickness is that I have lots of weird thoughts that sometimes make sense. One is, that our life is just like training an AI with difficult situations, our life being a source for experience for it. As I am an entity inside of life, I am also subject to control of experiences, such that the experience-material I generate is proper. I believe that any pain you do to other beings, will come back to yourself inevitably until the soul holds the experience to reject doing the pain to others any longer. Anything you take that was not give, will be taken from you again and again until you realise that taking what is not given is a mistake in most cases. As of the bible, when doing spiritually/magically, bad things come back at least sevenfold, in this life or the following. As well as doing good things to others can make you very happy, because you’ve trained cooperative experience and that is wanted just like repulsion of causing pain. Maybe in some former life I have fucked with people spiritually making them insane, so in this life I get it back sevenfold. Believing this sometimes puts me into peace with life, and at times keeps me from being angry about bad people. As I believe they can’t really avoid being that way, they are just cast that way such that nessecary experience can be generated. Just like very good people might seem silly at times, and have to live through hardship that seems unfair at first look, but then again, it is just the rules of life, and what comes after the training will be supreme existance, able to be free without causing harm, in eternal bliss.

Yo my voices, hallucinations and thought manipulation just seem to wash or dull out my mind by constantly bombing it, and then trying to let me do things. Some things are absolutely phantastic, though totally unreasonable that a disabled fool like me would even try to do them. Others are shown only as initially steps, and I guess if I do them I’d be presented with the next ones, but only then. I don’t do that though, because I know from experience that when I’m cooperative with dubious voices they would slowly bind me until I couldn’t any longer prevent doing what they say. Then they try to “entice” a lot with friendly or beatiful illusion experiences, I guess to try to appear trustworthy to me, and they also fuck in violent ways with my mind, which seems like punishment.

It is very subtle action, sometimes hard to describe or pinpoint. At the same time my mind is ever and ever again in a seemingly artificial dulled out state where I’m not very conscious about the things, such that they impress me more than they should and my ability to resist or reflect/understand what is going on is greatly diminished. They can really take any form or simulate people or beings. In “entice mode” they present desirable features, like being gods, angels, good magicians, fairies, such stuff, trying to involve me into some kind of story that they could use to manipulate me. In threatening mode they would appear like evil people, demons, devils, mad scientists, evil aliens, or even worse. It is like a puppet theatre with interactivity in the head. That might sound funny and desirable, but it never stops, so the only upright desire one would have after a while is…to make it stop and be free again…it is like constant burning pressure onto the consciousness…


#73

So you think it was a drug that triggered it?
Or a psychiatric drug?

Shit that is going on sounds like some kind of research, like psychiatric research?
Whats the name of the drug they are making you take?

Whether you have real people fucking with you, or ‘imagined’…just dont let them fuck with you. Sounds impossible, as you said its constant for 20 years. Dont let yourself be manipulated by some arrogant retard like that whether real or imagined. Some retard pretending to be aliens or wizards or demons…maybe just some dickhead person.

Yeah maybe its past life karma or something, or maybe you have offended someone who is too easily offended. Someone who sees themselves as ‘elite’ and ‘intellectual’. Someone with a lot of money, someone very conceited and arrogant? Someone who hates cannabis or whatever.

Maybe its all just bullshit but you never know.
“intel inside” - think about that kind of name…maybe thats bullshit too. Keep an open mind.
Thats my take on it. Dont take what I say too seriously i guess, just deal with it somehow because you have to and there isnt a choice.


#74

Im just some random guy on the internet who you dont really know well so dont read too much into what I say, its all just conjecture and curiosity from me because I dont really understand too much about what you are describing. I watched some documentary on people who say they are ‘targetted’, maybe there is some truth to that?

Another idea is like maybe its an ancient problem that comes from taking hardcore hallucinogens…

look at how the names for ‘shaman’ around the world can be translated…like take ancient china and mongolia for example - the word for shaman is ‘wu’

it can be translated in so many different ways but one of them is -

wu [誣] (with the “speech radical” 言) “deceive; slander; falsely accuse”

Maybe those people from back in the day, with their red and white muchrooms or whatever the fuck halluginogens they were taking were going through something similar to what you are going through.

Who knows maybe some mafia bastards, or secret organizations / people with a lot of money still have some technique like that today…triads? yakuza? italian mafia? masons? military personel? politicians? police officers? businessmen? maybe thats all just bullshit. Its sounds like a terrible problem, wish I could help you out somehow but it seems like one of those things, there isnt a choice but to deal with it.

Sorry if Im just being annoying with this kind of conjecture but good luck with getting rid of that shit. Maybe make yourself strong as possible with physical training which can also focus your mind will help to deal with that shit somehow. Every muscle stretched out, all knots in your muscles gone, twisting and clicking your spine back into powerful position again, bloodflow back to normal, nervous system strong and healthy. some training which acheives all that

the wikipedia page on those shaman stuff is quite interesting link below


#75

One more idea, if its hardcore hallucinogens and shamanism type problem…and maybe they are fucked in the head and maybe they are not…but what they all do is dance and drum into trances…maybe its necessary to focus and be single-minded without any thoughts at all in total silence as they dance or drum in the countryside where nobody can see, far from ‘city-folk’.
Inventing a dance, learning to drum, singing without lyrics…repetitive movements excercise - those kinds of things should eb good fun and help clear the mind. Psychiatry would label that kind of dance or song as madness or obsession but it is actually beautiful, creative, human spirit…but human spirit can be evil as well as good…so focus on goodness, but without darkness cannot differentiate what is light anyway…two sides of the same coin, yin and yang or whatever problem like that which older cultures described…ideas like that, also ‘trinity’ and whatever else kind of problem…invent a dance might be a good way.


(LofiMat) #76

This all sounds really bad dude! You may have this Toxoplasma gondii thing. Do you have a Kitty?

A microscopic parasite that breeds in cats has been found to make chimpanzees less fearful of predators in what scientists believe is further evidence that the microbe can also affect human behaviour when it infects people.

A study of Toxoplasma gondii, which is estimated to be infecting around 1,000 people every day in Britain, has found that it makes chimpanzees more attracted to the smell of leopards, their main predators in the wild.

Previous studies have shown that when the feline parasite infects mice, the rodents lose their natural fear of cats. Now the same kind of behavioural changes appear when T. gondii infects chimpanzees, the closest living relatives of humans, which usually harbour a natural fear of leopards.

The findings of the study support the controversial view that T. gondii may also influence the behaviour of infected people, possibly when it is carried in the bloodstream to the brain where it can form cysts in the amygdala, the brain region involved in fear, researchers said.

Several studies in the past have indicated that the Toxoplasma parasite can affect people’s personality by slowing down their reaction times or making them more likely to take risks. Some studies have linked the cat parasite with psychotic disturbances in humans such as self-harm and suicide, and even serious psychiatric illnesses such as schizophrenia.

The latest research was carried out on 33 infected and non-infected chimps kept in captivity in Gabon. Scientists found that the chimps infected with T. gondii were three times more likely to investigate the smell of leopard urine than non-infected chimps – normally chimps are repelled by the scent of a leopard.

This change in behaviour, however, was not seen when the chimps were exposed to the smell of urine from lions or tigers, neither of which is a natural predator of chimpanzees.

Scientists believe this difference between the reaction to leopards and other large cats indicates that the change in behaviour is linked with the predator-prey relationship between chimp and leopard, and the need for the parasite to be eaten along with its host species by the chimp’s natural feline predator, the scientists said.

T. gondii can infect a broad range of species, including humans, but it needs to end up in a feline species in order to reproduce sexually and so complete its complicated life cycle, said Clémence Poirotte of the Centre for Evolutionary and Functional Ecology in Montpellier, France, the lead author of the study published in the journal Current Biology.

“Feline species become parasitized by eating a parasitized prey. Avoidance behaviour of prey such as rodents toward feline species thus represents a natural barrier for the parasite,” Dr Poirette said.

“It has been shown, however, that T. gondii can induce behavioural change in parasitized rodents, making them more attracted to cat urine, thus benefiting parasite transmission,” she said.

“For the first time, we’ve shown that such parasite manipulation occurs in a primate, in a very specific way. We found that in our closest relative, the chimpanzee, Toxoplasma -infected animals lost their innate aversion towards leopard urine, their only natural predator , ” she added.

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Cat parasite toxoplasma uses ‘Trojan horse’ to infect human brain and

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Toxoplasma’s links to schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and increased

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Beware of the cat: Britain’s hidden toxoplasma problem

It had been thought that if Toxoplasma, a single-cell “protozoan” parasite similar to malaria, does have an effect on human behaviour it must be a side-effect of its ability to manipulate the behaviour of other “dead end” host species such as rodents. However, the discovery that it can affect other primate species suggests a more ancient evolutionary link with humans, Dr Poirotte said.

“Our study rather supports the hypothesis that manipulative abilities of T. gondii have evolved in the human lineage when our ancestors were still under feline predation. Behavioural modifications in humans could thus be an ancestral legacy of our evolutionary past,” she said.

“Latent toxoplasmosis was commonly assumed to be asymptomatic in humans, except in pregnant women….Recent studies have shown that it could represent a risk factor for some mental disease such as schizophrenia, but more studies are needed to understand all the impacts on human health,” she added.

Toxoplasma gondii: What exactly is it?

Toxoplasma gondii is a microscopic parasite that breeds only in cats but can infect many other species as “dead-end” hosts – dead-end, that is, unless these animals are then eaten by felines.

As The Independent revealed in 2012, T. gondii is now so ubiquitous in the environment that scientists estimate about 350,000 people in Britain alone – some 1,000 individuals a day – become newly infected through pet cats, contaminated food, or other sources in the environment.

Most people are never aware they are infected and the highest risk of Toxoplasmosis is to the unborn child of pregnant women. But studies have also shown that the parasite can cause cysts in the human brain and other vital organs.

More controversially, some studies have indicated that people infected with T. gondii are more likely to take risks or suffer serious psychological problems. However, other scientists have questioned the strength of this link.

Nevertheless, it is now clear that the parasite can change the behaviour of prey species, such as rodents and chimpanzees, towards their natural predators – felines.


#77

Whatever it is / whoever they are, dont interact with them at all.
If they want to do you harm, dont allow them to pretend to be fairies or whatever after they have been fucking with you.

I honestly think psychiatry drugs and psychiatrists are terrible. Perhaps its the psychiatric drugs that are hurting you…Seems like no one who deals with psychiatrists ever gets ‘healed’ and almost all of them wish they had never seen a psychiatrist.

If you think about what a psychiatrist does, it is easy to know its bullshit from the start.

When they are presented with someone who is complaining of some symptoms they should be asking questions like -

Do you have a heart condition?
Do you have any numbness in you arms or fingers?
Do you have diabetes?
Do your symptoms gets worse after eating?
How much excersise do you do etc.

those are the kinds of questions a real doctor asks, but with psychiatrists its sounds like it goes more like this -

What drugs did you take?
I see you dont understand my authority!!
Now I will lock you up and punish you for life!!

fuck psychiatrists, all they ever do is fuck people up… better off completely insane than dealing with those arrogant pricks. Only things they care about are status and money. Thats just my opinion


(ffx) #78

I am not sure, if you guys are still talking about reality? What for do you write these monologues about fiction and esoterism?

A stationary treatment in a clinic for sure is helpful for a lot of people. Even if the doctors/hospital heavily tries to mess it up, you still will benefit from the group experience. That you realize that you are not alone. That said psychologic treatment at least in Germany is very fucked up. The system is expensive and extremely ineffective. Plans are trimmed to maximum profit, not maximum benefit, usually. This may vary from clinic to clinic. Usually you sit around with a bunch of other people most of the time, having spare time.

Times of lobotomy, electroshocks and other destructive actions are long time over. It is not like in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” anymore.

The main problem today is to find a good place with good doctors in a clinic which is not designed to make maximum profit.

Also they finally start to realize that a lot of treatments are very unsuccessful when it comes to heavy problems like borderline, chronic depression or similar. At least there are now some more recent supervision studies about this fact in Germany.

If you find a good clinic, and your health insurance pays for it, and you are looking for help, I would recommend you to do so nevertheless.

There are also ambulatory facilities that you can visit while your common work/life week, so you can integrate it in your life instead taking a long off-time. I guess these are the most effective, since you do not leave your usual environment.

A psychiatrist only gives you subscriptions for medication. He/she is completely useless when it comes to real experience, the “knowledge” comes from pharma studies mainly. A therapist though may actually help you. A lot do not, sadly, because of the structure of the therapy.


(Zer0 Fly) #79

Well why, discussion ist okay. Always good to think about different ways how to cope with the condition. Because if you don’t, it will eat your head. Lots of strategies possible. I mean the condition is constant stress, constant pressure, why not invent a dance and try to shake off the demons once in a while, that’s a very good ancient way actually, though not quite my style.

Psychiatrists are no devils, at least most, and methods in psychiatry have become rather soft. Yes talking about Germany, I heard in scandinavian countries they are even more progressive. Some Psychiatrists will hate abnormalies and try to fix them with anything he can. And that is only antipsychotic medication, so they will stuff their clients with that shit and wonder why some become to dull to be active. Others will respect if their clients wish lower dosage as long as they can cope with symptoms.

But every now and then one hears bad things from that system, too. Like using legal tricks to bind and discipline people who have done illegal things while being psychotic, not very cool. Or trying hardcore therapy overkill with unhealthy meds in too high dosage or even shock therapy in moderate form is sometimes done, if I ever hear of someone innocent being forced into that shit with legal tricks and dies or become dulled out for good from excessive overtreatment then it would certainly be time for drumming together people to protest against such treatment.

Well, I’m in treatment, medication only works half way for me, bad luck for me. A little luck I still seem to have that I can cope in a way that keeps me from being forced into the psychiatric station now and then. My heart is ever and ever again with those who have to belive and have to do unfortunate things. Can be very depressing stuff. But I’m always interested in strategies to cope with. Caring for health, cultivating mindsets, not getting involved in stressful actions, there’s a lot one can try to get a firmer stand in the mindfuck.


#80

Two main responses from me one is quite positive the other pretty depressing i guess for some people.

response one -

You are a creative person with a great imagination. Nothing about what you were saying about training an AI sounds anything like psychosis. Only thing it sounds like is imagination, creativity and intelligence. Dont let some fool get in the way of those kinds of thought processes or lead you to beleive they are wrong.
You say inventing a dance is not your style but just try. Its not a public dance, its a spirit dance only for yourself…it will loosen out all your muscles and train your mind. Inventing a dance is a hard thing to do…might start slowly with just a few simple movements and gradually build up to something complex where you have to concentrate and then the mind is silent…

Or if you really dont want to invent a dance maybe learn to drum ( if you cant already )…or drum more if you can…Drumming will focus you, you have to keep the beat. It fixes problems in your spine and muscles from being at the computer programming in lua and doing those kinds of things. Do it for hours every day. Its like in ‘Qi Gong’…In your training there has to be both yin and yang…‘hard’ training (like punching a punching bag hard for hours conditioning the muscle and bone till its painful), followed by ‘soft’ training like doing seated activities ( delicate watercolour paintings, precise calligraphy etc.)…

You dont have to be as hardcore as some ‘qi gong’ kung fu master, but be as hardcore as you can be. If you have someone attacking you in your head and have no defence, better to create a defence by building up slowly with hard training than to just take that shit from them forever. Another thing dont allow ‘entice mode’ you mentioned…Dont even consider anything presented to you by them. They have been fucking with you for 20 years.

o.k, response two ( dont take it too badly if you dont agree with me. but this is my view anyway, so here its is ) -

Fuck psychiatry. Imagine if they successfully locked up or drugged up all the ‘mad people’ around the world. There would be no vincent van gogh ‘a starry night’, there would be nothing beautiful and creative anymore…

@ffx - Who says lobotomy and electroshock are not done anymore? Do you have a source?

As for electroshock being ‘moderate’, that is not true unfortunately. Possibly you have seen an article in which they describe electroshock as using “a controlled voltage”. Think about it, what comes out of the plug is also a “controlled voltage”, what the largest powerstation generates is a “contolled voltage”, the electric chair uses a “controlled voltage”.

First they must give you a drug that paralyses you completely so that the muscle contortion from the shocks does not cause you to break your own spine, then they must put something in your mouth so that when you are shocked you do not break your own teeth or bite off your own tongue as you are electrocuted, then they electrocute you. They do this shit against peoples will and record it as if the people had ‘volunteered’. Again ‘forced volunteers’.

After being electrocuted people tend to either be silent with brain damage or pretend they have no problem anymore to avoid having to go through terrible punishment again.

Psychiatrists will record this kind of behavioural change as ‘improvement’ - they are not talking anymore, now their behaviour is nice and quiet, or they must pretend they have no problem to avoid further punishment - this will be recorded as ‘improvement’ as well.

The whole idea that having your head electrocuted is a ‘therapy’ is ridiculous. Its as ridiculous as saying that setting someones head on fire is a ‘therapy’.

Psychiatry is absolute bullshit, it doesnt help anyone. The only thing they do is give you some dumbed out drug like an opiate of some sort mixed with a poison so you are happy while having a sly chemical lobotomy. Thats my view. A lot of people really need the opiates after a while, so they do actually need what psychiatry are calling ‘medication’ because they have become addicted to it.

Probably after that comes the behavioural conditioning, in other words ‘master provides the opium and the punishment, dont bite the hand that feeds you or master will punish you!’…literally what they want is ‘mental slavery’. Once they fully understand mental slavery, psychical slavery is easy to create…understanding all the ways to force you and trick you.

Its just like pavlovs dog - negative and positive reninforcment. Dont let some smug dickhead psychiatrist treat you like a dog, you are a human.

If you can get off the drug they give you without going mental, it might be a good idea to get off those drugs somehow. Too many people fucked up by psychiatry, the side effects are the intended effects. I am not being a dick on the internet trolling, trying to get people off medicine they need…but honestly that shit isnt medicine and psychiatrists arent doctors is my view.

Some of the drugs they force, trick or coerce people into taking are even radioactive and have a ‘half-life’…maybe that explains the feeling you had that you were poisoned by someone but that the poisoning effects were delayed. Radioactive materials in the body gradually building up.

Look at it this way…There is an organization which is known to stab people in the head, electrocute people, do human experimentation and imprison people for life without trial by jury…execute people with restraint holds, poison people etc. can you trust someone from that organization? probably not. Should anyone provide funding for that kind of organization? probably not. However, in their advertising and propaganda, they are ‘oh so clean’, kind helpers…fuck psychiatry. Do the exercise, creative things instead if you can…Just sounds like psychiatry fucked you up for 20 years to me.

But if you have a different viewpoint and you think psychiatry really helped you and disagree with me, thats o.k too. Do whatever gets you out from the shit and into enjoying life.


(Zer0 Fly) #81

I’m only halfway of your viewpoint, but I think you do give some relevant food for thought here. Anyone confronted with psychiatric conditions should better think and research a little, for the good of the affected, looking for ways to escape the pressure of certain official people and doctors.

I don’t think it is like specific to psychiatry though. I think it’s a civilisatory problem. People are generally treated as ressources, and where they lack to be useful they will be bullied, as example for others so they maintain a mindset of trying to be useful to the system. So the psychiatry will have strong focus on trying to make people “useful” again with full force. As they neither are able to cure, or even understand the conditions, some of them will do big harm to the affected. As I said, I don’t accuse individuals or the whole group of psychiatrists of such behaviour, but rather it is a general civilisatory system negative mindset problem, and a certain type of people will try to serve the system with everything they can, sometimes doing harm.

As said I can only advise the affected to be strong and try to persevere their vital issues against such people. I also have been at a psychiatrist who first tried to bomb me with maximum dosage, then he wanted to do the electro shock thing. I was very down at this time, but still I was shocked by the thought of such a rude and unexplored treatment. I was in luck such that I had family that would support me, so I broke bonds with that doctor and looked until I quickly found a more diligent psychiatrist for my treatment. He, as well as his successors, was willing to listen, and let me keep some symptoms in exchange for lower medication dosage, and not try to force me into dangerous things or make me become employed again at any price.

Dude its not the “psychiatrists” as a faction doing the nazi shit. It is a thing that has its threads through whole society. Its like the dark and light side with the jedis, yet both inside of the same civilisation. You are for sure right that one has to watch out when trying to get help by psychiatrists, as some of them might be of a machiavellian mindset, trying to serve the system by downing the sick. It is expecially tragic, as sometimes people might cause legal problems while psychotic or manic, and then forced be bound to such people’s influence by legal binding. Always better to act soon and self-determined when problems arise, and not wait until the bad things have happened and you might fall into the hands of some nazi-judge…

The medication is very unhealthy yes, but for me it makes a difference in quality of life. At a cost, though. For some people it is a ticket back to normality. And I tell you, as phantastic some aspects of my condition might sometimes sound, it is pure tornment. Even in a state of being toned down I often wished I’d rather die than having to stand it any longer. And without medication, I could not even wish, it was too overwhelming. I mean it is like I constantly have to fear of people killing me, or doing even worse to me, that is delusion. I have to fear the very worst! Many peole not even have the colourful, creative side of such psychosis, but are exposed to pure horror, and loose their will against that shit and then bad things can happen, psychotic people now and then even kill people that they were normally loving. It is because of delusion - delusion makes them belive sick things, and there are for most people little other ways than trying the medication to get out of it. That’s why I wouldn’t encourage anyone to just try to stand the shit alone, it is too dangerous, for the person self and also maybe others. If delusion gets you and you break the law, then you will be pushed into the hands of people who then are allowed to decide things for you. And if you happen to meet some machiavellian system-slave, then you will be fucked if you’re a libertine, as this is what the guy will subconsciously fear and try to destroy.

But ofc it would be wiser to have self control over medication, and not be forced and pushed to do too much of that unhealthy stuff. As long as you’re in self control of it, and not legally bound, even the most presumptuous doctor cannot force you to do their will in that regard. If you act before you break some law because of loss of control, you have a chance to look for proper therapy yourself. Like I’d suggest anyone who fears to be psychotic to research “Soteria” or “Windhorse” Projects, and try to go there instead of into the psychiatric stations. They will allow using very low dosage and help trying to conquer the psychosis by mind, and try to live with symptoms instead of trying to bomb them away with high dosage.