Tonight I’m going to record a track I composed and which contains a spoken text part.
I asked a friend of mine who is american to check if it was correct (because I’m french and everybody knows french sucks at english) but her e-mail address seems to have change. As I’m very far-sighted, here I am : I’m going to leave home and go to the studio, settle the equipment etc… but : my text haven’t been checked.
If someone here wants to help the young fool I am and just take two minutes to read it, it would be great. It’s short and it’s also funny as this story actually happened to me a few years ago :
The sky was blue, the sun shined, I was walking in the street
I saw a pigeon further on the pavement and I called it
You know, I love animals
When I got close to the pigeon, it got scared and flew on the road
I turned my head and saw a car getting over it
The pigeon didn’t hit the wheels but just rolled under the car
Then, the car went away and my pigeon friend kept rolling for a second
But when it ended up on its two feet, I just saw a bloody neck.
My pigeon friend was beheaded
Actually it should be correct, but if the track is good I’d like to put it on my soundcloud and if the text contains some mistakes, I’ll just be ashamed to do so. Without talking about the fact the spoken text will surely feature a funny french accent.
Thanks a lot if you have two minutes to do that,
Lucas
The sky was blue, the sun was out, I was walking in the street
I saw a pigeon further down the pavement and called out to it
You know, I love animals
When I got close to the pigeon, it got scared and flew onto the road
I turned my head and saw a car running over it
The pigeon didn’t hit the wheels but just rolled under the car
The car went on and my pigeon friend kept rolling for a second
When it ended back up on its two feet, I just saw a bloody neck.
My pigeon friend was beheaded
some words were used in the wrong ways, improved some sentences so it has a better flow.
i’m no native speaker either, so maybe i missed something. i did ace my English in school though, so i couldn’t have made it worse i suppose.
Pretty good. First line I would put: The sky was blue, the sun was shining, I was walking in the street
and probably When it got back up on its two feet, I just saw a bloody neck. (Helps it sound like it was still done by volition (on purpose, own will.) which seems to fit the text.)
Both only very small points though.
EDIT: Last line sounds nice (in a kind of childish way, which fits the text) but not perfect English. My pigeon friend had been beheaded OR My pigeon friend was decapitated
would be more correct. I think I like the original though
This actually reminds me of something I actually saw as a kid. On way home from school in the car we were passing my friends house on this really small country lane, barely wide enough for two cars to pass. There’s a car in front of us going pretty fast and I see my friends duck in the middle of road, then a car comes belting round the corner, downhill far too fast for those road. That duck was so obviously a gonner!! Both cars pass each other just in front of us, the duck between the two cars. We slowed down and stopped and once the other cars were gone there was the duck waddling around in circles in the middle of the road like nothing had happened. Really couldn’t believe it
Thanks a lot for your help, I’ve taken your both corrections in consideration and so modified the original version.
Now I’m going to spend a lot of time for editing / mixing and actually still adding some electronic parts to this song and I’ll forward it right there when it’ll be done.
thanks once more, your help have been much appreciated !
Sry for bad joke couldnt stop it 
