hehehehehe
i’ve been seriously thinking about scripting something like this, but it is pretty much undoable imo. you’d have to save stuff over different Renoise sessions etc and not sure how that would work.
Hold up, hold up! I have the badest of the bad idea of them all…
LIVE COMMENTATORS!
Every time you track you have a commentator commenting on your every move. “Oh, he put down a C-4 on row 25 with a Delay DSP while A-3 is still playing. I didn’t see that one coming!”
Some achievements:
FIRST NOTE - Pretty self explanatory.
MOOOO - More than 100 instances of cowbells in a song.
CRASH TEST DUMMY - Renoise crashes 5 times.
FILL 'ER UP - More than 90% notes in one pattern.
MILLI VANILLI - Have someone else make your song.
TUI - Track under the influence. A penalty fine will be sent to the developers bank-account.
FAST & FURIOUS - Make a complete 3mins+ song in under 5 mins.
Just to mention a few…
Please find attached the ListenHarder tool.
This tool is designed to let the user concentrate on the sound of their songs rather than how it looks.
Whatever this tool does, I hope it’s got a restore button. 
We most definitely need a DSP that goes ‘ping’ telling that the tracker (the person using the tracker) is still alive.
…or maybe, if the person using the tracker dies, automatically broadcast a tribute in a dedicated youtube channel 
‘Swordfish Mode’. the pattern matrix and file browser change into video windows playing hardcore pr0n. your boy/girlfriend comes into the room and starts orally stimulating you. if you do not make sufficient progress in your song within 5 minutes your entire file gets deleted.
copy a mono sample in the sample editor, convert it and paste it into the automation curve editor
A feature that disables your internet connection so you stop wasting time and start making music!
Oh wait, these were supposed to be bad ideas…
how about a feature that launches a browser anytime you press ‘space’, so you can go on the internet immediately while working on a song, so you will finally stop making music and start wasting your time?
Instant genre hit-maker templates:
- dubstep: 140 BPM, kick on 1 snare on 3, multiple samples of Massive’s Scrap Yard & Modern Talking waveforms + Transformers samples
- breakcore: randomly 180 to 260 BPM, 1 gabba kick + amen break tracks routed to a send with Supatrigga (all parameters probability set to 100%)
- IDM: changing BPM, 20+ tracks of circuit bending samples with several instances of Glitch, Effectrix, Artillery & Stutter Edit on each track with randomized automations
- minimal: 123.07 BPM, one instance of Rebirth (303s turned off) with 1 min long automations on volume faders
All welcoming you by a sober “You’re a legend!” txt in the comments panel.
Foil hat support to transfer ideas directly to patterns.
Zen-button making all your samples silence.
stop Renoise development.
sell Renoise to Yahoo!
sell Renoise to EA to make some sh*tty MMO out of it, based on the lore of ancient trackers.
religion.
+1
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