Constructive crit needed

Yo, peeps. This song is a W-I-P. It basically needs a singer who can also pen lyrics and come up with a not-too-cheesy lead melody. The chords seem to beg to have something cheesy on top of them. It’s really hard to come up with a melody I like. I left in a bit in the chorus just to make it clear that it is the chorus, but I am not happy with it.

Apart from that I don’t have too much experience with mixing live instruments with programmed stuff. I think I might want to make the programmed bits sounds more live, too, but if you have any other kind of advice or opinions, please let me know!

http://soundcloud.com/s-wrong/got-to-get-this-right-demo

Cool track. Quite well done and catchier than I expected. The guitar has a Cure vibe for sure.

I could def go for some more frenetic breakbeats starting about halfway through, and I would add a rhythm section breakdown somewhere towards the end, about 2/3 of the way through, maybe.

Super happy, poppy tune!

Not terribly fond of the cowbell towards the end - maybe it’s the hard panning, but it’s more distracting than anything for me.

Nice work!

It sort of has a New Order vibe to it with refinement I think it has some potential. Female vocalist would suit it.

If you’re going to use vst synths can I recommend Superwave P8 and Charlatan?

Thanks for the advice. The synths I have used are Zebra 2 and CM Dune. I didn’t have The Cure or New Order specifically in mind whilst writing the song, but I guess those bands and many more like them are part of my DNA by now. Anyway, I’m stoked about that kind of comparison. Cheers!

Very nice track, it’s hard to make a happy tune like this without falling into too much cheese, but i think you pulled it off very nice. :slight_smile:
I’m not a great singer or anything, but as i listened to it i improvised some gibberish that could have some potential,maybe i’ll try something. I’m very bad at writing lyrics though, so i wouldn’t have too high expectations. Usually i go here for some ideas and just write some nonsense: http://www.anticulture.net/RandomLyrics.php :wink:

Haha. Thanks, TheBellows. Now I know where a lot of bands get their lyrics from.

Reuploaded with minor changes. Got rid of the melody line from the chorus, removed some clicks from the guitars, replaced a synth in the chorus, added more perc in the ending, added some more variation to the drums (more fills, basically), and fixed a number of small issues.

To come with some kind of constructive tip i think you can be more playful with the bass, as in adding more groove instead of the repetetive bass hits that dulls down some parts of the song. The more i listen to it the more i notice it. Replacing it with a real bass would be the best i think, with groove and tempo variation.

Some inspiration to give you an idea of what i’m thinking about:

Hmmm. Yeah, maybe. I agree that the bass is a bit dull and mechanical in parts of the song. I’ll fiddle with it and see what I can come up with.

First time i’ve ever offered any advice on production matters here, but felt that I should in this instance…

The ‘Cure’ guitar that folks are referring to here does seem to be the strongest element - so I think it needs a bit of love. You might consider revisiting the effects/tone of it, making it as authentic/vintage as it can be and then making it the star by having the other elements in your tune fit around it, play second fiddle to it.

Beyond the tone of the guitar and fitting the other instrumentation around it, you may also consider expanding upon the phrasing of the guitar part - giving it a more organic feel throughout.

One word - Character.

I had some fun with it and added a bass on top of yours, i may have exaggerated a bit. :stuck_out_tongue:

https://archive.org/download/Example_201505/Example.mp3

Thanks for all your advice. Some interesting changes taking place with this tune now. Look out for updates!