Dj `n´ Mixmastering Adventures

Hey Mr. DJ…

  1. The ArmChair DJ

This scary monster is the most prevalent. They are the one’s that have asked for the same

requests for the past 2 years. If a DJ were to play something new from one of the lesser

known artists they get huffy and either leave the room or stand against the wall scowling at

the DJ. They proceed to download all of the hits from newsgroups and “mash-up” all of the

songs to the same BPM. Then, pass it off as a masterpiece of musical selection and beat


  1. The DJ Stumper, DJ

This type always invades the booth and closes in on the DJ’s personal space. They are always

asking for some wacked out shit from Somalia or the Ukraine and look at the DJ like he has

stabbed their mom when he tells them he doesn’t have it in his collection. Their mix usually

sounds like pots and pans being scraped across the road by a hovercraft which is then

recorded by a mini tape recorder.

  1. The I Used to DJ at… DJ

This annoying bastard used to DJ back in the day and still thinks that they know what would

make a dance floor packed. Hence, the Front 242 - Headhunter request. Their mix is made with

dated classics that include 80 minutes of non-stop goth/industrial classics that are all


  1. The I’m a DJ at ___, Impress Me

This f****face comes from some small town and thinks that every city should be exactly like

there night is. They expect the DJ to be doing things exactly like them in terms of tempo

and song selection and are sure to tell the DJ about there club repeatedly through the night.

The funny thing is, no mixes exist for this DJ and if there is one, it is a 13 track

straight burn of stuff you stopped playing 2 years ago.

  1. The Nonchalant DJ

This guy is a DJ from another club in a different city and stops into the booth to say hi.

He makes a request and compliments the DJ. He thanks the DJ later for a good set (Even if it

was horrible!) and tells the DJ to stop into his night if they are ever in his town. He may

even leave a mix to listen to. It turns out that guy is a great f****ing DJ and was cool as

shit! This species is rare.

And Germans may love this one:

Now this was funny :lol:

"5) Der Hardcore

Bevorzugte Wünsche: … Black & Decker-CD …

Begehrtes Sexualobjekt: Stahl, Beton, Kinder-Überraschungseier"

And then there is the ARC DJ. You start off playing relatively easy going dance stuff. Then you start layering up the mix with 3-4 CDs going at once, usually a combination of groove, glitch and ambeince. Then you slowly progress the set to pure chaos. You then take note of the maniacs left on the dance floor at the end of the set and ask them if they have any interesting records they can lend you.

This way you both please and absolutely frighten everyone.

be sure to check

as well

Almost the same countries <_<

Weird, some people still sure that bears rolling onda bikes over the snowy Moscov streets and drinkin’ vodka.