Made with Renoise, of course. I’m well aware of the faults I’ve not bothered to fix in this, but if I can recieve some criticism in terms of arrangement that would be cool.
The song is dark electro pop, nice and short at 3:37.
First Impressions Always Count (mp3)
First Impressions Always Count (ogg vorbis)
If you like, let me know 
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Besides both links being to ogg files, the main thing I notice in this song is the space between the drums. The whole song constantly feels like it’s ready for a heavier drums section to up, but it never does. There are some good hooks in the song, but they’re hard to make solid in my head when there’s not a rhythm holding it in place. The bass drum that starts at the beginning (that also carries through the song) is using a sound that can ONLY be heard on a stereo with deep bass. When I turn off my subwoofer that drum completely disappears.
The quieter parts of the song the current drums sound very appropriate, it’s primarily the louder parts that need more drums. I personally would also put some reverb on the piano sound.
Good work otherwise.
Thanks for that, those links have been corrected.
I think that’s a valid point about the sparse drums, the loud end section could do with something that encourages a half time feel with the slow plod underneath.
The sub pulse is meant for subwoofers only, a little treat if you notice it. Not intended for general recognition.
Afaik the piano has verb on it the whole way right to the end where I drop all the effects off and leave everything naked. That raw sound was intendend. Using a crappy old 16bit piano sample doesn’t help tho.
It’s funny, as a vocalist, you tend to get overly concerned with all the performance faults, and forget about things like arrangement and repetition. I’m learning quick from this one.
Can anyone make out the vibe of the words?
Wait a minute… what definition of arrangement are you talking about? Are you talking about the arrangement of the patterns in Renoise or the musical term “arrangement” that means how all the instruments and drums and harmonies are layed out? I was using the second definition. If the drums are doing the same thing through most of the song, it could be arranged differently so the drums could be more varied.
I think you were referring to the first definition, which means that I was completely off. Sorry for the miscommunication.
Unfortunately, with the words, I haven’t been able to understand all of them. It seems to be sci-fi-ish and angry about people with lasers and you offer your prayers. I really do not know what the meaning of the song is.
The way you sing through the song covers up any of the “potentially” repetetive elements in the sequence–basically the repetitive elements were not noticed until I really sat down and tried to break them apart. That’s a good thing–a good set of vocals can make even the most repetitive sequence sound quite varied, and your song sequence is generally varied enough that even if the vocals were crap, which they are not, it would still hold together. It almost never hurts in any song to go back and copy the pattern into a new pattern, change or add a few little licks/instrumental-hooks and make that the next in the sequence instead of repeating, but I like the general change of progression your song offers. I just think the drums should be more reflective of each individual pattern.
These are the words I can make out:
I hide in the world 'cuz you hide in the breif gaze
I guess we can call all
the little idol love truth
Be sits here and hold wheel
that the words don’t come down
think about I stay a prayer offerings
wheel of infintile parities
Slay people with lasers of truth
we cower in the soft worn/warm ??? I tee
worry about the dohddan
so worry about the laser
bunk slook at wonk
it’s juh a met shall these howmth
down bull****
down bullshrreaaht
down bull****
I’ve gotta say though–I’ve been listening to this song for at least about an hour–I can’t do that with very many songs in general.
Good job man. 
Edit–Addition: And an hour after that, what do ya know, it’s still playing in the background.
Ahh hahaha… some funny stuff there 
. That was the best interpretation of my lyrics ever! Hahaha… I guess most singers are like that until you get the lyric sheet:
I hide in warm clothes
You hide in your briefcase
I guess we can call off
Our little battle of truth
We sit here and hope
That the birds don’t come down
And pick apart our stale bread offerings
We of the infantile narratives
Slay people with lazers of truth
Yet cower in the soft warm glow of TV.
Worry about the garden -
Don’t worry about the lazers
They are pretty abstract for lyrics - say, compared to a U2 song. Generally, I’m having a go a co-workers and the whole work-conformity thing. The subtle games of authority and my discontent for that.
I take you points on both types of ‘arrangement’. Yeah, a good varied vocal performance helps everything - you’re right about the drums needing to match that tension instead of going the same all the way through.
Sci-fi… haha never thought of that when I penned ‘lazers of truth’… hehe
Glad you like the tune. It’s a new step for me. It’s allowed me to take focus for future projects: songs written by the words instead of these endless instrumentals with bits of words chucked on top.
I just wanted to say that I still have this song in my playlist, and when it came up today I decided to listen to it 6 times in a row. I can honestly say that I really love this song.
good for you 
404 for me 
This song has been re-worked more times than I care to remember. I had to take the demo offline due to those advancements. It’s been one of the longest song developments I’ve ever done, since 2004 I’ve been working on it. Only recently I’ve been getting close to the sort of quality vocal I want it to have. It belongs with an album called ‘The Paradox’ and it’s going through the same slow, slow development.
I’d love to be able to finish this off soon, but it looks like with all my current engagements and obligations it ain’t going to happen very soon at all. Late this year if you’re lucky. I’d say more likely next year sometime. Maybe this interest in the track could be a good incentive to finish sooner rather than later.
If I get it right, it will be right for all time, and will be so much more sweetly devastating than this old demo.
no worries… only when reading your reply I realized that this thread is not half a year old, but over 4 years 
Well, I hope you finalize it soon. Although the version I’ve been listening to has been just fine. It’s fucking awesome.
Thanks Kizzume, mucho appreciated.
I think I’ll have a crack at it soon, as I’ve got the inspiration back. The rest is hard work and making the time for it.
I like the lyrics, but not song! Can we have a litsen plz?