It sounds like an excuse from your gf. She probably knows by now that you were really serious about it. It’s good that you’re going back together again. Like an old Finnish phrase says “Old salt makes you thirsty”. Good luck for you both! 
You’re probably gay.
One interesting question I’ve often been thinking about is where the sexual industry is heading. I mean, today some guys are actually preferring Jenny the Realdoll instead of Jenny the whining Bitch. So… where can we expect to see that technology land in 20 years from now? What would you expect? And would men or women profit most by such developments?
Then today’s philosophical question…
Let’s suppose that (by some magic wand) you could choose between these two options:
A. Having all the sex you wanted for the rest of your life, with no risk for disease or impotence. On condition that you had to live on minimum wage for the rest of your life and wasn’t allowed to add to your financial wealth by inheriting from relatives, winning the lottery, selling hardware, working extra, etc.
B. Having all the economical advantages in this world, very fat bank accounts, etc. On the condition that you couldn’t have sex anymore in any way for the rest of your life. There were no work-arounds on that one.
What would you choose? 
There is a similar law in St. Maarten as well because the island contained more women than men.
I saw an interview many years ago about one guy who married 5 women.
It is fun and all, but you have to be able to support your five wives as they won’t be working and there are lots of other relational problems as well.
In countries like Iran you have to pay the family of the bride with treasury. This is normally a very expensive business which is why most of those folks only have one wive and only the richer persons can afford themselves more wives. Also, in Eastern countries marriages are mostly arranged at children’s age so there usually is not a lot of choice either, that’s why you also see relationships with very large age differences there, because the older man had no choice in women of his own age.
All these kind of problems would vanish if they would be a bit more liberated in those areas.
But unfortunately that will probably not evolve much quicker than it did so far till today.
False and strange! Where have you heard this?
edit: Every now and then I hear some strange things about eastern and/or Iranian culture. Some of them are historical traditions that are completely forgotten, and some of them have never been existed! I’m curious what are the sources of these info?
Vice versa, foriegn friends are sometimes shocked about what I think about their culture. It seems that it is inevitable to have misunderstandings when the differences of cultures are vast.
Bumpedi-bump…
Yes, that’s an interesting question indeed. Maybe slightly OT, but still not because it captures what’s important in the long run… So I’m going to answer and monologue about it.
I personally would expect the realdolls to develop into fine meatdolls with built-in motor capabilities, body heat, breathing, etc. In combination with various enhanced reality filters and personalized neuro-drugs, we could probably expect to get semi-authentic sexual experiences by artificial means within 50 years.
On the philosophical question I’d choose the first alternative. Even though I could buy myself lots of other-than-sex-pleasures and fun with loads of money, I’d miss the intimacy of sex so much that no money could compensate for it. I could still buy the things I needed on a minimum existence level, such as pen and paper to write the philosophical treatise of the 21th century… but maybe I’m just another primitive caveman that pose as an intellectual just to appear intelligent, haha. 
My very first girlfriend had a special perspective on things here. She used the metaphor of the sperm and the egg to explain virtually everything in human behaviour. In her view, all men are just sperms with extensions and/or accesories (and women are eggs with other evolutionary means). Take football for instance, that’s basically just a gang of sperms that are living out their inner needs to get into the egg in her conclusion… or men’s interest in general: cars (sperm speed performance), women (the target of sperm career), sports (the estethic play of the essence of sperm life, competition).
I really miss the mind-expanding discussions I had with her…
Making a choice between two things that have absolutely nothing to do with eachother seems rather odd to me. Who needs a fat bank account? The majority of people on our planet don’t even know the meaning of fat, bank OR account, so why bother? However, sex is something everybody everywhere can experience. Choosing between them to me is choosing between owning a private helicopter or always have a good night of sleep: you don’t need the first and the second is too good to say no to.
I’m sure all that money can buy you pussy, but if you think it takes money to get pussy you’ve sort of lost track of things.
If that was a real girlfriend then i would say it’s over
But if she was just a girl to fck with then… fck it 
actually i would ask her about getting me with them to have some fun with her friend etc why not ?
Sorry, perhaps this treasury thing does not count for Iran. This thing with arranged marriages is also not specific Iran. And yes this area is confusing as the religions and habits show discrepancies with different matters concerning different cultures sharing eachothers habits / religions.
@vV:
Perhaps you have mistaken a law term named “Mahrieh” with what you have described here. Mahrieh is an amount of money (usually defined in gold coins), appointed by agreement of both sides before marriage. If at any time the husband decides to get divorced from his wife without a juridical reason, he has to pay that amount of money to the wife. Mahrieh commonly varies from 200 to 1000 gold coins ($40,000 to $200,000), but amounts as low as 14 and as much as 14,000 gold coins are sometimes appointed.
Also something to mention about “having 4 wives” law is that offical permission of previous wife/wives is needed by law for further marriages.
The treasury issue you had mentioned might be related to some regions of India, but I’m not quite sure.
The previously arranged marriages also are a historical myth now, ceased at least 200 years ago. Although it might still happen in outlying superstitious regions in the east, but I’ve never heard of any.
I wish, that would make everything a lot easier 
You’re probably clueless?
I read this thread when it started back in august, and I thought “damn, poor guy” and good thing that I can trust my gf, she would NEVER do something like that. I considered her to be too honest and much too shy to get ideas like this. Man was I wrong!
We were together 5 years. We had just found an apartment together and I had the chance of living there for 14 days. I had just started a new job and was focussed on geting some music done, so I was set on getting up early and being effective. She just started her phd, and so I thought that we could help eachother in getting some work done.
Everything went fine those 14 days and the work was going well. She preferred to eat breakfast for a long time, and I didn’t get her to join me in getting up early and getting out of the door fast. I did however get some food with me every day and we had a good time walking walks, eating together and all the things couples do. I thought that soon we would have some children together and enjoyed the thought although I didn’t vocalize it and was way to focussed on getting my daily duties done.
One day she comes home and is acting strange and we talk a bit. I ask her if she maybe wants a break and she says, “I don’t know, but maybe that would be a good idea”, and that hit me like a truck. I had no idea she no longer had these feelings for me especially with all the nice time we had spent in the apartment.
So I left the apartment somewhat bewildered that evening and went and slept at a friends place. In the morning I came “home” to get some things, and give her some flowers and a card that I bought for her to wish her luck on her seminar… and ho! There is a new man in the bed. First thing she tells me is that the sex was nice, they did it twice, but she always had a hard time coming… WTF!
Stupid me tried to talk to them but I realized there was nothing to do. She kept saying that she didn’t know what had happened and it was just all so sudden and she should be with me, etc. Totally confused piece of female!
So she went away for some time to attend the seminar and try to get herself together. I sent her SMS like crazy which only bothered her, but I had no other way of communicating with her. A week later we have a phone conversation and she tells me: “I don’t regret what I did” and thats about it. This is the same girl that I was sharing intimate moments with just a week before!
I haven’t seen her for about 7 weeks now and there has been almost no communication, except some emails where she talks very nicely and ends the letter with “Love …”, so I think she is having a very bad conscience.
The worst thing about this story is that the guy is totally like me. He is also a computer scientist, listens to electronic music and looks somewhat like me from what I can tell from the images I have found on the internet. What a bummer!
So this kind of cheating is the one that sid mentioned: The girl thinks she has a better future with this guy,… hmm let’s see. I would guess he fits her very well, but I guess only time will tell. The thing is that it will take them about a year to find out and so I really have to let her go, although I am really having some hard time with that. I would like to be with her again, but I think that when she has not been honest with me it will be very difficult. If the trust goes out of a relationship, there is a long way back…
So my strategy for now is to just ignore her. I am still considering meeting with her, but I really am unsure about that.
Man, I thought this stuff only happened in movies! 
Can’t say I have similar experiences to share, I’ve never been involved in a ‘relationship’. For me it’s not worth the effort (I’ve had too much failed attempts in the past I guess). I prefer to put that energy in music. 
Maybe a good thing after all, I’ll probably go apeshit and seriously injure both of them if I would encounter a situation like Aklt (my blood is still boiling from hatered after reading his story)…
No no. thats definately not a good thing to do and besides, it wount solve anything. You would just get yourself in trouble and seriously regret it afterwards (not only because you will get punished and maybe even go to jail for some time, but also because you will realise that it really wasnt right thing to do).
People get together and break up every day everywhere, thats definately not worth doing something really stupid.
Yeah, while the situation you are in sucks ass, your best bet is really to just sit back and let her go. Dont go on a “getting her back” mission. This is worthless and will only make it worse. Even if there is a chance that you will get back together, then you will have better odds if you let her go. People dont like to be harassed, the feeling that someone is constraining their life creates discomfort. People like to feel free. Knowing that they can go away without any harassement makes them actually want to stay. This is true on many accounts.
Also women like independent and strong-minded men and dislike men who project weakness, dependence and neediness. In other words, while “i’ll do anything for you” makes a good plot in some romantic movie, it doesnt stand ground in real life. I can also tell from my personal life, that when some girl wanted to break up with me and i started to chase her, then it went even more downhill and they ran away as fast as they could And vice versa, when i acted tough and didnt let it bother and affect me too much then they wanted to stay.
And of course, if your girlfriend really wants to end the relationship and there is really nothing to save, then there is not much point in chasing her anyway.
Just be strong, dont let it affect you too much and she may come back to you, and if not, then screw her, youll find some other girl sooner or later and it will be ok nonetheless. Its not like she is the only girl in town There are plenty, and i mean plenty to choose from.
Ohh yes … many of these problems i have had else in the past.
I have for you a good book tip.
David Deida - The Way of the Superior Man
Read it and transform your life.
Argh, sorry people, I gotta rant. Yes, I have a hidden agenda, I’ve been hurt yadda yadda. Take this with a grain of salt I suppose.
I’ve been thinking about that lately… you know, no need to discuss “I can’t live without you” shit. I’m not debating that being whiny and clingy sucks. It’s amazing I can even be that way when I consider how much I HATE it when someone else is that way to me… but I digress, what I’m still wondering about is this “total independence” stuff. Because there is a difference between not being a psycho fuckup and being TOTALLY independent!
Yes, it is a possible for a man to be emotionally totally independent of a woman. Two options:
-
That person doesn’t give much of a shit about life anyway. No thoughts = no worries = no problems… but also not a life worth mentioning (except as a mistake to avoid). It’s what plants do. Humans however are not here to be happy 24/7, that is reserved exclusively for the very young, the retarded, the senile - or the happy consumer slaves, which make up a big chunk. (Never forget that when considering the opinion of your “peers”. Not all of them are actually PEERS. Which brings me to the next possibilty.)
-
He does care about life, but just not so much about you or anyone else. Because that’s what you have when you have a reasonably intelligent, awake person who is “emotionally 100% independent” - a sociopath. You’re just a toy for him, a piece of fuck meat to say friendly things to and feel patronizing about. Yes, we all like cute dogs. We also look down on them. Maybe not in an unfriendly way, but still down. That’s healthy with dogs, not so much with humans. It’s also not healthy to want to be seen that way, while at the same time wanting to be respected - you CANNOT have both, and under that paradox many a woman gets crushed. They settle for it like confused, trapped animal. At the least, the’re tragically comic in most of what they do and say, because they have to avoid this elephant on the couch. This refridgerator under the carpet they keep walking around pretending it’s not there, no matter how complicated and useless that makes everything.
And either of this is supposed to be “Mr. Right”? An idiot or an asshole? That idea is nothing more than a mental autoimmune deficiency meme, a literal virus. It destroys lives, and there is no way to exaggerate this. It’s also contagious.
It’s a daddy complex thing is what I’m guessing. Not all women are that way, just way too many, and you shouldn’t negotiate with them too much, observe more than listen. Just like you don’t discuss fantasy excuses about important stuff with an infant. If you can shove it out of harm’s way, you do - if you can’t, you save yourself. NO DISCUSSION NEEDED. Think like a Klingon, man… you wanna breed with that, or rather get your shit together so you are eligible for women who had a daddy, thank you very much, or didn’t, but got over that? Someone who is not so scared of actual responsibility and human contact, that she needs you to be some kind of superhero, so she herself can be an ANTI-hero? I say split it equal - I sink down to “regular human” level and you rise up to “regular human” level, mmmmmmkay?
WTF. It’s insane to even discuss this like it’s some radical new idea. Thousands of years of patriarchy may have something to do with that, and many who consider themselves free are still just sucking thumbs.
The friendly thing here is not to cuddle. The friendly thing is to throw them into the water. Do it for those who will swim.
(I know this is not the correct speech to get laid, and trust me, when I want to just get laid, null problemo… but this is still “what I am really thinking”, and I’m not backing down from it just because someone is pouting. Maybe with 1 out of 10 women I can talk really openly about this without getting some passive aggressive scratch hiss crap going on (which just reeinforces my theory to say the least)).
As I said I think that only goes for “weak females”, not “females” in general. However, that may just be wishful thinking on my part, or really arrogant. Maybe I want to change something that can’t be changed. However, until I change my opinion: NO SPERM FOR YOU.
Like Bob Dylan said: “Leave at your own chosen speed.”
Never!
I do think it’s weak, but that’s just my perspective. But then again, that perspective is all that matters when I decide where to put my pecker haha, fuck the rules of society! When I come across a strong woman I feel like “sigh ahh, I I guess everything’s alright then”, and not “WHOA, she is STRONG!!!”. And when I’m with weaker ones, I’m seriously lacking something and need alone time sooner or later, just to be able to fucking BREATHE.
And is it not rather cultural, than biological? If it was biological, I’d be on my knees every night praying for the “others” to die out, sorry to say that, but I don’t wanna lie.
If it’s cultural, it can be changed, or rather will change over time by itself. But really, as a society we’re largely SICK and just get sicker, because sick = weak and weak = controllable. Most don’t want to see that, puts a slight bump in our cruise to say the least, so we put a lot of effort in flowery detailed complex explanations, when it’s really just weak = controllable. It’s in history and in our present. Power and politics are inseperable from culture and even how people “design” their relationships. Love does not exist in some special place out there, it exists within us and we exist within our culture… our culture is full of lies and slavery, so is our love.
Maybe you should cultivate the naughty prankster more, you have more than enough black leather jacket in you
I tend to agree on what you say here: Its not worth the effort, and I would probably not get anything good out of it. She has treated me like shit, but that is no reason to treat her or her fucktool like shit back. If they want to be jerks let them. It gives some satisfaction to know that I am not a dick even though she is. It puts me a bit higher on the karma scale.
That said I think that revenge or some “negative” action based on the feelings I have after this experience is seriously underrated in this part of the world. I know it is the wrong thing to go apeshit all over some guy, or to mess up some of her stuff, but what about this rage I have in me? She is the direct cause of that, but the norm is that I as a man should bury that in alcohol, drugs, fights with odd dudes, sports or whatever, just as long as I deal with it myself.
But my conclusion is that she is not worth it. Better to treat her like someone slightly retarded who cannot take proper responsibility for her actions and is incapable of doing anything about it.
I completely agree, but I was taken so much by surprise that I didn’t really get it at first, so I sent her flowers and did a lot of those things that you are not supposed to do in a situation like that. Either she’ll think that her actions and dishonesty are okay or as in my case she’ll just go undercover and flee from her responsibility… or some combination of the two.
So I’ll put her on ignore. Because I don’t have any money I just want some of the money back that she ows me which is a small fortune. She never had any money but recently she got a grant, so she can definately pay me back, but I suspect that I will not see any of that money,… hmm let’s see.
And you are right, there are lots of other girls out there, maybe even some better ones, I just have to come to realize that completely 
In my case I do attribute her actions to weakness. She never had the guts to tell me anything about seeing the other guy or even the integrity to be honest with me. However she was fine with keeping me happy and giving me the feeling that everything is ok, while she was still unsure if this guy was someone she wanted to fuck. And now she is just fleeing, and I think she is fleeing from being confronted with her own actions, which do not confirm the fragile self image she has. Along with “I don’t know” her second most common sentence was “I am not like that”, so she is definately having some difficulties with reality.
Don’t need a girl like that. It’s funny how you think you know someone, and then suddenly they show you that you have absolutely no idea of what they are capable of…
As for the laddertheory: It rocks! I definately will start taking this more seriously