About five years ago, in late 2015, I knew nothing about music. I didn’t know what a note was. From then to now, with no support and self taught from books, I have worked myself to the ground to try to enjoy[?] making music.
But for all my efforts it’s been pointless; none of my music goes anywhere. It is unseen by anyone and unused by anybody. I say this with the most modest aims: I just want some of it to DO something. Anything. Other than vanish into the ether of nothingness.
I make music that nobody wants. I cannot sing. From the one composing competition that I entered awhile ago academics don’t get what I am trying to do. &*^ them. I have tried to learn how to make electronic music in FL Studio. But all my sincere attempts, including some paid sites like ADSR, got nowhere and I am no closer to understanding clipping than I am to being an astronaut.
I am good at one thing only: making music scores. I used to make them in Finale in Windows Seven. Now in Ubuntu Studio Linux I use Muse score. I have taught myself a lot of proper musical theory. I have my own ideas: the ideas that &*& academics hate. Over five years I have finished every score that I started. Today I made part of a score with a piano and xylophone using A Minor. I won’t explain my theory ideas beyond that. It would bore people. But every note that I make is like a voice shouting “this is pointless”.
Now I have got to the stage where I can compose easily and pretty quickly. Far quicker and better than I could ever compose in the piano roll of a DAW. I have been posting my scores on the Musescore site. My handle there is Pianogates. I release everything there under Creative Commons Attribution; you can do anything with them as long as you acknowledge e.g Pianogates. But I don’t expect anyone to do anything with them. They will be more dust wisps lost in the air. It would be great if someone did even if it was putting them in a DAW.
The Free Music Archive was a cynical outfit that didn’t want my free music. Then they sold their site to a Spam company.
Pro Collabs didn’t want to collab even though I worked myself stupid to try to.
Bandcamp, Soundcloud etc I just hate.
A lot of the time when I made electronic music I burnt myself out and my music lost creativity.
Meanwhile my finite life span ticks away. The only thing that stops me from giving up music is that I don’t have any other creative outlet. That and my numerous other failures to find an outlet. I don’t sing. I don’t play any instrument. As for painting or drawing, I don’t think that any normal method could ride that learning curve. My other interest is Linux and I don’t know what creativity is in that. If I did stop making scores I might grab some books on computer programming.
In all this nobody has ever played any of my piano scores. That raises the vicious circle that if I knew that someone was going to play them I would make them more playable. There is no point seeking a music teacher. I have tried that; if you are over 18 they don’t want to know you. They only care about the kids;’ market. So if I gave up now nobody would have ever played a single score that I worked my guts out to make.