Jeez Louis… Thanks for the perspective! I had no idea a reaction THAT insane could be described as stress related, but it does put me at ease somehow as mine was nowhere near as bad, I was concious the whole time, just unfamiliar with my own body somehow.
I’ll take care of myself, hoping you do too. Your music is awesome btw, just as wicked as the hardest parts of the Metalheadz-albums I used to listen to years ago.
Oh and btw, I’ve tried weed before, can’t make myself smoke anything as I’ll cough a lounge out in a second… Also had a bad reaction to it in tea some time ago, so it may just not be my remedy.
I had some kind of panic yesterday too, we have been at an illegal party wich took place in some old abandoned military-style building, the dancefloor was two floors down underground and I suddenly had a claustrophic attack, it was just too much for me being that low under the ground. I left immidiately with a friend and we spent the rest of the evening roaming the dark building overground, which was funnily no problem at all for me … It was pretty much like a video game like silent hill or resident evil (we had one flashlight and the place was seriously f****ed up and vandalized, apart from that some organizers were also roaming around the building trying to catch explorers like us and send them back downstairs so we had to hide in dark corners a few times), we stole some tiles from a bathroom as a souvenir and it was okay. But I just couldn’t spend any more time in that underground bunker.
to go back to the weed issue, I know a few friends who have massive problems with nicotine in tobacco, they either use a nicotine-less substitute called “knaster” (a german thing) which is some kind of smokeable hay or use some so called “inhalers” which basically burn the weed at such high temperature that you only inhale the burned and airified (?) oil of the weed. But again, if you don’t want to, leave it. I usually buy weed for 20 € from time to time which lasts about two months for me ( don’t smoke too often, I don’t need much to get “high” and I don’t want to get “very high” at all) and then I have two months without weed and then this loop starts again. I also usually don’t smoke from other people because they tend to have a dose which is like 500% of what I can take in terms of weed, I had some very bad evenings when I just a took few hits from other people’s joints because I had a massive overdose. So what I am saying is that you don’t have to be drugged out all day to enjoy weed and should know how much you can take.
Apart from that I still suggest going to a doc, there might be some other thing going on.
Personally I am currently getting ready to find a good doctor which has experience in the field of ADHD with adults (Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder, previously only known as Attention Deficit Disorder, something usually only known as a “childrens” disease.). I read pretty much about that lately and came to the conclusion that I have “it” atleast in some deegree, judging from my childhood-experiences and how I function as a “person” today. The point is that I read some very good books about that giving very specific advise how to deal with specific situations/problems and I either figured those things out on my own already or they really help me. Some daily life situations which tended to stress me alot before suddenly are much easier to deal with. So what I am saying is : there is hope.
Oh, and one last edit : There are pills for epilepsy meanwhile. I know because I got some a few weeks back, I had a serious problem with my back then and the doc gave me some pills which were not meant to ease the pain but to relax the stiff/spasmic muscles in my back and those pills are originally for epilepsy. Didn’t help me though, just made me very sleepy.
disorientation , sweaty palms , fealing like I was going to pass out , fast heart beat ,
went to the the doctor , told me Panic attacks , gave me some pills (hehehe)
= much better now !!!
I’ve had panic issues my whole life. I had a couple in a sales environment that were the closest thing to a seizure that I’ve ever had. I couldn’t talk, I was stuck between two decisions that were as equally awful, trying to walk in one direction while walking the other direction at the same time, and then, in front of the customers, as I could only speak in “ah” at the time, tears start rolling down my face and the customer gets someone (who ended up being the manager) over to me right away, ready to call an ambulance. I got out of it, but it sure wasn’t fun. Happened twice at the same job. Needless to say, I am NOT a salesperson. When I do it, I do it well, but it stresses me to no end.
this sounds kind of similar (albeit worse) than a reaction that i’ve had several times in my life. the first time was in high school english class. the teacher’s purse had gotten stolen (i didn’t steal it), and she confronted the class about it… started giving us a lecture about how it had gotten stolen, and how bad the person who stole it was… for whatever reason, i started getting all paranoid, thinking “what if the other kids think that i stole it?” and then it started feeding into itself… my face started getting all hot, and i’m sure i blushed beet red. i couldn’t move and i had to sit there and try to relax for a few minutes until it finally ended. i’m sure if anyone saw my face during those moments, they probably thought that i stole the purse.
the same thing has happened several other times since then, usually when i am in a group of people who is being confronted about an item being stolen. strangely enough, i think i would probably be able to control myself better if i actually was the person who did it. how screwed up is that???
it’s like i feel the guilt of someone else’s wrongdoing …
Yep, and also most likely an extra source of stress that you feel you have no control over. Familiar to me too, I’ve let go of a few responsibilities (did I spell that correct…?) at work that I didn’t really have expertise over, that others already had in check for that matter. So I’m quite calm these days, since I phase out when they talk about things I don’t qualify butting into and just mind my own job.
Strange thing is, now the director is hospitalized because of stress syndroms that materialized as painful rashes and blister, and he told ME to calm down… Oh, and one of the actresses told me she had nervous brekdowns every week, the other told me he talked loudly to himself and his feelings when they took control from time to time, just to let logic get back in control, and a third told me he got bad blisters when he was freakishly stressed as well. He’ll be okay, fortunatly…
So, well, I’m working on a very stressful project and took on way too much responsibility. In my mind. The solution was to simply define what “my job” was, do that well and trust my colleagues’ decisions in the other departments, stage and themes etc.
I’ve looked so many different ways, but one thing has remained for 14 years–facial hair.
Today I did this:
I told a lot of people that the only time I’ll shave is to attend my grandmother’s funeral. After questioning a lot of things about myself this week, I decided to shave about 2 hours ago. 10 minutes later, my grandmother is rushed to the hospital.
I’m waiting to hear whether the hospital finally has a bed available for her.
Hoping for the best for your grandmother, Kizzume… Sorry to hear that!
But on another note, you sure shaved off a few years.
I’m feeling better now btw, it was all stress related. The stress is reduced by delegating responsibility and taking a chill pill. Metaphorically. No medications for me this time.
And you look really different now … You need to update your avatar.
However, as you can see on the evoke pics I do have this goatie (actually since I have been 16 or something). From time to time I shave it off just to re-assure myself that I look terrible without it … I just need that hair under my chin (Another reason being that I have a pretty huge scar under there, childhood-accident). And although some female friends told me in the past that a goatie is definately a big “no-no” for actually alot of women I won’t shave it off. Guess I will keep it until I am really old.
I have seen the goatie come and go so often in the past 14 years … first it was a “demosceners”-thing, then a “metal”-thing, later some hiphoppers had it … I really don’t care anymore if it’s “out” or “in” in some subculture.
). Smoking is bad, anyway (except when in blunts - sorry, I couldn’t resist).
