How do I choose and settle from the list of languages ?
I’d start with some of the higher level ones, like Python or Ruby.
It depends quite much on what you want to be programming. I assume you’re thinking of writing your own VSTs (posting in a music forum and all 
), and for this you’d best go with C++.
It might be hard though if you have no programming experience at all. C++ is not a beginner-friendly language.
I thought about VSTs and I think I’ll be staying away from it, not that there’s anything wrong with it > I like whats out
Probably more on handling data, customizing data, archiving (excuse the non details - still looking at it from above and not in the wilderness with the beasts)
It also depends on your ability to teach yourself.
Learning some languages yourself, if you do not have any programming background, can be a long and frustrating process.
If you already have SOME background, it may be easy to move around between languages.
Allow me to suggest AutoHotkey as a good place to start.
This is a scripting language, and not object oriented full blown programming language, but you can do many interesting stuff with it.
Not only it will allow you to develop many small utilities, and medium applications, it will teach you some programming basics (assuming you have none) with a clear Help-file documentation, and a very supportive forum.
See AutoHotkey.com
Highly recommended (but I say this without knowing exactly what you need, so it may not fit your needs).
EDIT:
If you are fanatic like me about huge installations and bloated software (or a development studio in our case), you will love this - its a small installer (also optional without installation at all), and you edit your files in your favorite text editor.
EDIT:
Oh, mac user… so scratch that altogether…
You’re on an OS X computer, do yourself a favor and learn OBJ-C
http://www.otierney.net/objective-c.html
I’m eventually going to try to learn it myself. But I have years of scripting experience (PHP/Perl) that I depend too much on now. I can’t be bothered (i am impatient, I can’t justify, I get frustrated) to learn other languages as PHP/Perl do everything I need them to.
I’m not a Mac user myself, but I think that Python comes already pre-installed with the Mac OS… It’s very easy to start with and you’ll find yourself doing the stuff you specifically ask for in no time.
I’ve seen processing and it looks really cool.
Personally, I enjoy Java. I find it allows you to branch out to various platforms as well as other programming languages quite easily (processing is identical to Java; C++ is quite similar syntax wise, but uses memory pointers)
Some people seem to detest Java however…
I know a lot of people who do. The main arguments I’ve heard are that it teaches poor programming practices for new programmers and programs written in it are usually more bloated and hog memory (I’ve experienced this quite a few times).
From my experience, C++ has been, by far, the most useful language. It certainly has its problems but it can be used for almost anything. If you’re doing a lot of database-type stuff (which is kind of sounds like you are) you could look into MySQL or something. Having never worked with a database, I don’t know much about them.
For a small and lightweight database engine i’d go with SQLite. Works great from C code but also has bindings for a lot of other languages. Somehow i personally didn’t made the jump from C to C++ yet. Also had a look at Java but all the classes are kinda confusing me, guess it would be easier for me to go C++ in case i need to expand on an object orientated language.
I’d go to C++, too - or Delphi (there’s a nice VST-SDK available for C++ and Delphi). With C++ you get a straighforward programming language which consists of a syntax suitable for Java and PHP if you wish.
Simple example:
for(i=1; i<=4; i++) {
dosomething();
}
AFAIK this works on all “C-oriented” languages (java, javascript, php). So, that’s why I’d use C++.
Edit: Your signature makes me nervous 
I’ve suggested to quite a few people that if they want to learn how to program, they should start off with something like Actionscript 3.0… it’s the programming language that powers Macromedia Flash. I suggest this because not only is it’s an ECMAscript language similar to Java/Javascript and C++, but it’s also object oriented… and as an added bonus, it can have very graphical output very easily. This can speed up the learning process considerably, because you will find yourself doing fun things with it instead of spending a lot of time getting bored with text only input/output. There’s also a considerably high demand for good flash developers these days.
Thats a good advice with good arguments.
I second that.
Dude, OBJECTIVE-C!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Objective-C
If you don’t use the Cocoa library it’s multi-platform.
If you don’t have any programming background, I suggest to start with this book: http://pine.fm/LearnToProgram/
It’s very easy to understand the basics of programming with this book (loops, branching, etc.).
About the language… tough question. I think that the best is to learn both a high level language (like Python or Ruby) and a lower level language (like C) because there are underlying concepts in the lower level languages that influence the way you think and program in higher levels. To me, the right path anyway is to have a solid education in basic concepts and then choose a language that fits your requirements depending on the software you want to build.
Starting with python or ruby is good. But until you know C and ASM you still don’t know programming.
But apparently once you know C and ASM you still don’t know grammaring. 
I knew about it and already had a look at it, but still i think i’d go C++, which has a lot more compiler choices and is also more widely spread.