One-liners, Slogans, Famous Quotes

With the exception of this first post, all replies should contain random one-liners, slogans, and/or famous quotes, i’ll start:

  • Solipsism loves company.

  • Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff. -George Carlin

  • Death is the solution to all problems… No man, no problem. -Joseph Stalin

“There is no logical impossibility in the hypothesis that the world sprang into being five minutes ago, exactly as it then was, with a population that “remembered” a wholly unreal past. There is no logically necessary connection between events at different times; therefore nothing that is happening now or will happen in the future can disprove the hypothesis that the world began five minutes ago.” Bertrand Russel

“Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.” (Napoleon Bonaparte / 1769-1821)

“All Bibles are man-made.” (Thomas Edison / 1847-1931)

“There are no sects in geometry.”
(Voltaire / 1694-1778 / Philosophical Dictionary, 1764)

“A witty saying proves nothing.” (Voltaire / 1694-1778)

^^ that’s a good one. here are some of my favorites.

Mike Tyson:

“You’re sweet. I’m going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I’m gonna make you my girlfriend.”

“I think the average person thinks I’m a f**king nut and I deserve whatever happens to me. That’s what I believe.”

“If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me?”

“My power is discombobulatingly devastating. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”

“I just want them to keep bringing guys on and I’m going to strip them of their health. I bring pain, a lot of pain.”

“I did my time for the rape. I paid my money to Las Vegas. I paid my dues.”

“All praise is to Allah, I’ll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I’d fight him too.”

“I’m in trouble because I’m normal and slightly arrogant. A lot of people don’t like themselves and I happen to be totally in love with myself.”

“I feel bad about my outlook, how I feel about people and society, and that I’ll never be part of society the way I should.”

“I’m on the Zoloft to keep from killing y’all.”

“People are going to say what they say. I know sometimes I say things; I offend people.”

“I have some pain I’m gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your f**king ass.”

“I just want to be humble at all times.”

“I just want to conquer people and their souls.”

“I know how hard it is to be a woman, especially a black woman.”

“Lennox Lewis, I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!”

“Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters.”

“The drug dealers, they sympathize with me. They see me as some sort of pathetic character.”

“I love to hit people. I love to.”

“I’m not much for talking. You know what I do. I put guys in body bags when I’m right.”

“I’m the biggest fighter in the history of the sport. If you don’t believe it, check the cash register.”

“When I fight someone, I want to break his will. I want to take his manhood. I want to rip out his heart and show it to him.”

“When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.”

‘Excuse me, gentlemen, but I am not justifying myself with this allishness. As far as I myself am concerned, I have merely carried to an extreme in my life what you have not dared even halfway, and, what’s more, you’ve taken your cowardice for good sense, and found comfort in thus deceiving yourselves. So that I, perhaps, come out even more “living” than you.’

  • Fyodor Dostoevski (Notes from Underground)

‘Great warrior you seek? War does not make one great.’

  • Yoda

“Why do people videotape every single moment of their life to watch it ten minutes later? Does no one simply remember anymore?” George Carlin

“An Art-Thief is someone who takes pictures.” George Carlin

“Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time.” Steve Eley

“Jeder Boot tut gut” A friend of mine, translates to the unfunny “Every (re)boot is good”

“Each one teach one” Hiphop-Fundamental

“Was du nicht willst, dass man dir tu, das füg auch keinem andern zu.”/“Do as you would be done by.” Very simple, but very important.

"do or do not. there is no try.”

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”

  • Yoda

the force is strong w/ you, botb.

Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: When a girl is under 21, she’s protected by law. When she’s over 65, she’s protected by nature. Anywhere in between, she’s fair game. Look out.

Cary Grant in Operation Petticoat

Rome wasn’t built in one day! Quit really?


[i]“when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

“There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”


“I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”

  • HST

One death is a tragedy; a million is a statistic. - Joseph Stalin

A gentleman: one who never strikes a woman without provocation. - H.L. Mencken

The metric system: something that did not really catch on in the states unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimetre bullet. - Dave Barry

Music: Something that is essentially useless, as is life. - George Santayana

Don’t believe the hype, JUST BE!" - Super MC TC Izlam

You see, a pimp’s love is very different from that of a square… -Officer Collins

I know! And I’m all, you’ve gotta be shittin’ me! But check this out man, judge should be like [bangs fist on table] GUILTY! Peace. -Prosecutor

I’m Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl’s Jr. -Secretary of State

I can’t believe you like money too. We should hang out. -Fritto

Today, I step into the shoes of a great man. A man by the name of Dwayne Alezando Mountain Dew Herbert Comacho. -Joe

all is fair in lunch and robot wars

When you go Rekall, you get nothing but first-class memories.

Woody Allen:

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.”

“Don’t knock masturbation - it’s sex with someone I love.”

“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.”

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

“The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty”

“Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it’s fantastic.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

“Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.”

At the risk of seeming like a spammer: I <3 quotes a lot so I collect 'em: English - German (not that many yet, I have to write down a lot more Kafka)

If I had to chose, well I can’t… here’s some Thoreau:

“Philosophy is the exact opposite of the meaning of life, because life
can never be all about finding out why you’re alive, unless God’s sense
of humour is as sick as mine, which would explain a lot.”

  • my father