Scroll down for newest version. Mark 1 and 2 have been deleted; 3 and 4 remain for now.
I completely redid the verses and made lots of small changes and improvements on all levels.
MK 3. It’s getting there.
Noir-ish work. All instruments sound really good. Did you use a guitar while recording? It sound natural. The ending is energetic, especially the moment guitar’s playing in tertia. Pipe organ adds a special atmosphere. Drums and bass are quite balanced. Everything is in its place and every instrument could be heard well. A powerful work which thrills you like a walk around the city at night, besots like double bourbon, your fingers burnt with the cigarette smoldered while you were watching starry sky. Vocal would also be good, I think, a kind of dwelling on words, little bit tongue-tied. However, even without it, the work remains bright.
Version 4: made the first chorus shorter, added a vocal melody to the choruses (played on a synth), lots of little tweaks and fixes that you probably won’t notice.
We’ve lots of decent mics at work. I might just steal one and record some vocals for this if I get the opportunity.
Thank you, red panda, for your analysis!