My favourite topic when it comes to amusement is human stupidity, some sort of bitter-sweet.
One of the best sites celebrating human stupidity is the home of the Darwin Awards. This award is given to those who help improving the human genome by removing their own genetics from the pool. In short: this is awarded to people who died because acting stupidly beyond any chance of understanding…
Can’t believe it?
(From a random pick) :
[i]…the 35-year-old began to fill a tanker with water, a standard safety procedure that forces flammable vapor out of the container. He returned an hour later to check whether the water level was high enough to proceed. But he had trouble deciding, because it was so DARK inside the tanker.
A resourceful employee, Manoel forgot the very reason why he was filling the tank with water when he lit a cigarette lighter to shed some light on the situation. His little test successfully determined that the water level was NOT yet high enough for safety. The vapor explosion launched him through the air, and he landed in the company parking lot 100 meters away…[/i]
Darwin Award nominee No. 3, year 2000: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree appeared to be the robber’s first, due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:
His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.
The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.
A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool.
my favourate darwin award is for some macho-australian-guy being bitten by four snakes while doing some camping with buddys and drinking beer,and when his buddys wanted to take him to a hospital he simply answered “I’m a Man, I can take it”. He was dead within 30 minutes.
Yes, there is a whole lot of “Macho” stuff on there… including the fabled Macho Contests where people are cuttin away parts of their own body to show each other “who da man”…
I have also had myself a lecture of “the Real Rocket-Car Story” because this most classic Darwin Awards seems to be some sort of bogus urban legend inspired by real actions.
Nobody removed himself from the gene-pool… but still is a lot of fun to read… and the guy seems to know how to write a good “short” (?) story without loosing attention from readers
You’re welcome
Yes, as I said, looks like the guy knows how to write a story.
Maybe it is not Stephen King but it was good to me.
Seems like it is not the average “Let me put my memories down”… that made me even doubt the whole telling and think it is some sort of tale, inspired by the darwin awards… but some part of me “lived” that… and that part does not like to think it’s another bogus
Jean-Baptiste Lully, a seventeenth-century composer who wrote music for the king of France, died from an overdose of “musical enthusiasm.” While rehearsing for a concert, he became overexcited and drove his baton right through his foot. He succumbed to blood poisoning.
but also
Tycho Brahe, a sixteenth-century Danish astronomer whose research helped Sir Isaac Newton devise the theory of gravity, died because he didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. In that society it was considered an insult to leave the table before the banquet was over. Brahe forgot to relieve himself before the banquet began, then exacerbated matters by imbibing too much alcohol at dinner. Too polite to ask to be excused, he instead allowed his bladder to burst, which killed him slowly and painfully over the next eleven days.
Francis Bacon was an influential statesman, philosopher, writer, and scientist in the sixteenth century. He died while stuffing snow into a chicken. He had been struck by the notion that snow instead of salt might be used to preserve meat. To test his theory he stood outside in the snow and attempted to stuff the bird. The chicken didn’t freeze, but Bacon did, prompting the question “Which froze first? The Bacon or the egg?”
ouch! it would interest me if he felt a relief right after the “explosion”. just like: “i must pee i must pee i must pee imustpee imustpeeimustpeeimus… oh nevermind, pass the bottle.”
(2 January 1996, India) A tiger killed one man and mauled another at the Calcutta zoo yesterday when they tried to put a marigold garland around its neck in a New Year’s greeting.
Prakesh Tiwari, the dead man, and Suresh Rai had been drinking before they bought the floral garlands and crossed the moat around the tiger’s enclosure, authorities said. "I was shocked to see the two young men weaving about in front of a tiger with garlands in their hands, " said Rakesh Banerjee, who witnessed the attack that triggered panic and a near stampede in the zoo.
The men, both in their 20’s, were trying to put the garland on a 13-year old
male Royal Bengal tiger named “Shiva” after the Hindu god of destruction. When Rai threw the garland around Shiva’s neck, the tiger attacked him. His friend Tiwari intervened, kicking the tiger in the face. The tiger released Rai, and attacked and killed Tiwari.
“I saw it all; the tiger turned and jumped on the other young man and put its head on the man’s neck, and within moments, the man was apparently dead, his head dangling,” Banerjee said.
The two were reportedly devotees of the goddess Durga and had gone to “worship” the tiger.
Nah, don’t worry… by that time religion will hopefully refine the process eliminating such unpleasant episodes while continuing promotion of simple self-torture.
a rather sad, but still stupid incidence is this young student on a mushroom trip, who got the ingenious idea to cut off his tongue and penis with hedge shears. the doctors couldn’t sew on the part again.
so, he’s not dead, but successfully removed himself from the genepool i’d say.
Omg that really sound like someone who already is deep into shit a lot before eating any mushroom… I mean, c’mon… how bad must your head be before you start considering cutting your penis and tongue?
Almost unbelievable if we also consider the kind of substance he intossicated himself with: Psylocibin in mushrooms results almost always in an exhilarating experience. Bad trips are also there but as bad as your trip goes it’s all coming out of your head… and it was there before the mushroom.
Now take the story of this young who went totally violent during a mushroom trip, he got naked and started to fight with anyone in sight. When people managed to hold him he started to kick and speak as if he were possessed. He would repeat the same phrases in random order. ‘This is perfection, I am Jesus, I am the center of the universe, I’m gay, Come lie with me, Daddy Mommy lie with me, black people, fingertips, Cock!!!’
See what I mean?
I think there are also implanted in our brain “ideas” to take ourselves out
of the genepool. Like getting depressed, maybe thats a mechanism that
can be triggered “socially” by your surrounding peers to prevent that
stupid and/or unstable people get too vocal (for the good of the group).
If said person gets depressed he will pull back sit in the quiet part of the
cavern, get fat or even get suicidal. His/her selfworth is rated by his peers.
Its a good thing when this works, as it takes the maniacs out of the genepool.
But its also sad when the good people gets “the idea” that the peers (or often
just parents dont like them). They need a friggin hug pronto not suicide.
This anti-ego idea is what smart people should learn to overcome and throw
the crap out. Unfortunately its in the “firmware” of the brain.
Yes, there is a whole lot of “Macho” stuff on there… including the fabled Macho Contests where people are cuttin away parts of their own body to show each other “who da man”…
ouch! it would interest me if he felt a relief right after the “explosion”. just like: “i must pee i must pee i must pee imustpee imustpeeimustpeeimus… oh nevermind, pass the bottle.”
that really sound like someone who already is deep into shit a lot before eating any mushroom… I mean, c’mon… how bad must your head be before you start considering cutting your penis and tongue? 
