So I’m Going to graduate soon. At the start of this year I was feeling very enthusiastic about continuing a career in science and research. Then things took a bit of a turn for the worse . A long essay I had to hand in ended up being terrible, my project hit some awful snags and I got depressed. Difficult to maintain focus and motivation at the moment, and for whatever reason I’m not feeling sciency on the future front. I stopped tracking before xmas, because it keeps me up all night and I can’t discipline myself ( on that note I should stop with this forum for a while too). I want to be able to make music, and pay for instruments, but I’m not good enough to pay my way with music. It’s really just a very engrossing hobby at the moment. The life of a phd student isn’t one with definite ends to the day, It’s very stressful and I may not get the grades needed for a good choice of place to study or funding.
I find the idea of 9-5 jobs with time for my hobbies ever more attractive, but where does a genetics degree leave me in terms of qualifications? Will I be happy there?
Sometimes I think all I want to do is stay a kid and track crappy 2 minute one off songs till kingdom come. Won’t pay the bills though…
sigh
don’t give up on science/research…u may have a calling, just because u have hit a rough patch doesn’t mean u should stop!
I sort of live that life u speak of…work very seldom, tracking/free time often…where do i go with it though…gotta start making money with music some time! The market has never been so saturated, it is quite a challenge!
While I am happy with myself and am quite secure to a degree, i wouldn’t recommend this life to anybody!
Esp someone who seems to be as bright as you! Become a scientist! You can still Renoise in your spare time!
Edit: I think I need to put a little more into this reply.
I didn’t bother going to college/uni because my parents(rightfully)refused to pay for me to go to a music uni.
I had no interest in finishing high school or going to college/uni simply because I was told to.
I have always had a passion for music(since the age of 5) and have always been a deeply spiritual person. I chose not to finish my education for idealogical reasons, reasons which shape the foundations of my existence on this planet. One of the reasons is trusting myself implicitly to lead me through life as opposed to trusting society.
You however, have a purpose for finishing your education and sound like you are letting fear and discouragement influence your perspective. This is NOT a way to make a life-shaping decision which it indeed is. Love was the founding emotion of my choice to live outside of the box so to speak, it was NOT a second choice for lack of a better one.
wow sounds like an early stage of midlife crisis to me ( or something like that )
I did academie of fine arts / drawing/painting …do some 3d, anallthat …did I built something out of it ?NO , why not …cause I just can’t imagine myself leading a life like most of the other people ( someday I will ) …if you can…do it
Take some time of ,if you can afford it…if not …do not grab to alcohol /drugs/travelling around /sleeping at friends places / …which is all nice for a certain period of time …but you don’t want to end up there when your 32 …
If you do …join the campfire …
Do not take this seriously b’cause tommorow I will have a different view on this + f’ckin drunk
Well, listen up. I dropped school for music. I was studying pedagogy and then journalism and I finished neither because I had opportunities in music. So I picked the latter, I organized parties, helped setting up a label, did some releases, toured through Europe and Holland, had the bestest of times. And then came reality: music is not the most profitable branche and I was broke, homeless and degree-less. But I needed an income to survive. So then what? I started selling my soul, had some very unsatisfying jobs, I felt miserable and depressed and it reflected on everything I did, including my music. It was pure luck that I was given the opportunity to work at a publisher where I worked my ass off to prove myself, that financed my degree in DTP and gave me a future perspective. I know this a far different situation from yours, but just saying: you can be a kid all your life, all you need is luck. It worked for me!
I just think we need to be careful with the advice we dish out, this is a person’s life. A lot of us seem to be missing the fact that he is discouraged and scared that he may not make the marks needed to enter the school of his choice. Tracking and the life we live seem to be the medicine easing the pain, not a lifelong dream that many of us share.
Like music is our dream, science may very well be his dream. It is no way to live a life with the attitude: “omg my dreams aren’t panning out, let me give up and do something else”…even if the something else is music! If you have been banging away at your dreams for some time, fair enough…but you have just started!!
I want to be clear, however, while i am making an admonishment, I do completely agree with Botb’s selected quote…I am 30 and still very much a child. The point is, I have always envisaged my life in this fashion; from day one. How have you evisioned your life up until your discouragements? This is what you need to follow. Unless of course you truly desire the life of a child and you can honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say its not a cop out from your temporary discouragement. If it is, excuse my frankness, but it sounds pathetic and owe yourself more than that!
I was hoping the cynism was clear with the previous story and its bold conclusion. Ofcourse I see this is about a person’s life, which is why I was so open about my ‘mistakes’ (I regret it everyday I never finished uni). I’ve had a rough ride on life before I discovered music and irony willed that the discovered music would make the rough ride into a rollercoaster with a dead-end. I’d like to quote Mr. Thompson: I hate to advocate a life of drugs, sex and insanity, but it has worked for me.
I could tell you my story at this point, but maybe it’s not appropriate at the moment.
The only thing I can suggest if you wan’t to graduate - keep away from drugs, alcohol and insanity. but there is no excuse not to have sex. do it a lot. It’ll definitely help to clear your head, relieve stress and gain energy. And hold on to the people who are close to you.
Thing is, if you really love music, can you live with yourself knowing you never gave it a chance?
And also, if something or someone ELSE deserves your love, can you live with yourself knowing you never gave it a chance?
The whole drugs-chapter is something reserved for the-weak-and-curious, although some say the lifestyle is waiting for anyone who climbes aboard. I’m not sure, I said “yes” all by myself so I have only me to blame
if it is possible, then i would suggest that you take a break from your studies. do something else for half a year and see if you rediscover the will to do science-y stuff.
you will get better results if you are motivated as well!
most people at the university are in such a hurry to finish stuff and whatever but you should really think about that this is most probably what you’ll do professionally ALOT so it should really feel right for you.
I would say don’t give up, although I don’t know you personally, your situation, your feelings, your drive and enthusiasm. To study sciences you generally have to have a love of learning, which I guess you have, you just sound like you are scared of not getting where you want to be and disappointing… Who? Yourself? Your parents? Don’t be scared, give it your best but don’t stress about it. It’s not your whole life, as the time tracking should prove to you.
As suggested above a year out can often help gain perspective on things. Unfortunately it sounds like you are having this dilemma towards the end of a school year so not something that can be thought about for now. May be worth considering between degree and masters / high school and university or wherever you exactly are in your learnings and how it works in your country.
With all things in life, some periods may come out very rough.
It is persistancy that makes you grow and eventually the winner. Not the choice to do something on the easy path.
Another thing:Failing is part of paving the road to success.
I did a PhD in particle physics and am now doing a Post Doc. I never regretted it - it is a rewarding and fun job that lets you be creative. After a normal job 9-5 work day I’m usually so tired I’m not inspiered to do anything. Feeling good makes it easier to make music, and I actually have time to make tracks (yes, mostly in the nights, but still…)
-t
Having been in the university sector for a long time, I can only say that this scenario is very common for a lot of people.
My quick advice? Vocational training. Find a quick course or two to move your research skills into some sort of work-place graduate level certificate that will line you up with an area of needed work. That way you get the 9-5 (or less hours for that matter) and keep your brain active. Music is a passion, regularly employment will help you get into a rhythm of life to give that passion a few hours a day. Go from there and momentum will take you to great places.
Christ this got alot of attention! Thanks guys!
@ Bytesmasher:
This is my final year, so four years. I have been offered opportunity to stay on in the lab I’m in for the summer but beyond that things aren’t so certain.
A career in research is highly selective; only the very best end up being able to make a comfortable living at it (I don’t just mean monetarily); not too different from music I guess. As it stands I’m not the most organised or hardest working person in my class. I seem to get pretty low in the winter months, so it’s hard to really tell what I actually think at the moment, an also hard to motivate myself to pick it up in terms of work.
I have a girlfriend, who is awesome, but I can’t burden her with yet another freakout. The idea of a year out appeals alright but the prolem with that is that I’m afraid I’ll stagnate… I wont have free access to journal articles or be around scientists.
What I’m having trouble reconciling at the moment is whether my reasons for wanting to be a scientist are based in my interest in science or in my admiration of scientists. A lot of people have rockstar figures they want to be like.
A PhD student who was about to get his PhD that night told me not to embark on a PhD/research career unless I was absolutely sure I could, wanted to, and would excel. I’m not sure about which socks to wear in the morning, for christs sakes!
I can see a lot of my peers drifting into PhDs they won’t enjoy. I don’t want to do that. I thnk time out to find and define my interests is what I need, but not too much time out. I like my brain, and, occasionally, it loves me back. I don’t know how best to ensure the latter.
I don’t think my problem is unique, or that I’m alone. I do think this is a crisis, and I do think my response to it could be more mature and level headed than it has been.
kickofighto, considering you’re so late into your school career, it might be best to just stick it out. The sciences are useful in a variety of careers, and you may find that piece of paper helps you get a job closer to what you actually want. Are you majoring in anything specific? Chem/physics/bio? With any of those, and with scientific training in general, you will find that the skills you’re developing will help you in almost any area of life. Considering your current investment, a year more’s not much to sacrifice for a world of options you’d be opening up… you shouldn’t think so narrowly about the directions an education in science can lead you in. You could end up being a professional sound engineer as a result of this degree for all you know.
If however, you were just getting into it, I’d say it would probably be wise to invest your time and money in something more specific… but really, you’re almost there dude… might as well finish off your honour’s or whatnot.
//To me it seems like the question is: which side of your brain do you want to exercise the most?//
That is, if you believe all that pseudoscientific bullshit about lateralization of functions such as creativity and logic. I’m sure kickofighto knows better than that
. A long essay I had to hand in ended up being terrible, my project hit some awful snags and I got depressed. Difficult to maintain focus and motivation at the moment, and for whatever reason I’m not feeling sciency on the future front. I stopped tracking before xmas, because it keeps me up all night and I can’t discipline myself ( on that note I should stop with this forum for a while too). I want to be able to make music, and pay for instruments, but I’m not good enough to pay my way with music. It’s really just a very engrossing hobby at the moment. The life of a phd student isn’t one with definite ends to the day, It’s very stressful and I may not get the grades needed for a good choice of place to study or funding.
