How Do You Manage A Girlfriend And Music

Any tips would be fantastic. The girl is not into the music I make; though I couldn’t care less (I’m not making it for her). How do you, fellow girlfriend jugglers, manage a life of music with the little lady around?

I live with my girlfriend. I produce with headphones on until she is not home. If she doesn’t want you to produce sit her down and discuss it. She shouldn’t have that much say over this kind of thing.

I ditch the gf.

try to take some time for yourself. I’ve been engaged with my girlfriend since January and I have released only four songs since then, which is not a lot for my standards. but still more than nothing.

anyway, I’m going to turn 35 in a few days so it’s probably time to give more attention to a girl rather than to myself. I don’t know your age, but one thing which you should try to achieve is to stay with someone who, regardless of if is in the style of music you do (my girlfriend appreciates some of the songs I do, but not all of them), likes the fact that you are creative, otherwise problems will always arise.

Have kids then come back to this thread.

Pro tip: Your problem is not a real problem. Sort it out now before the time comes that you really don’t have time for the tunes.

This usually only happens, when your GF has no own hobby. Tell her to find something she’d like to do while you’re tracking. Something that lasts longer than onetime half an hour. A relationship doesn’t mean you have to give up the things you like, only to please the other one who has no idea how to handle her own free time. Once she gets the point, it’s up to her to find a solution for this, not up to you.

If both parties don’t have an interest they can pursue on their own then a relationship may be doomed to failure – if your partner demands you spend all your free time with them then resentment will start to bubble up. Sure, you need to be flexible and not spend all your time squirrelled away making tunes, but anyone who objects to you doing it at all is not a good choice in the first place!

I’m kind of lucky; my GF and I work as a musical duo at weekends (she sings, I play guitar/keys) so she’s already of a musical persuasion anyway, and she has hobbies of her own so there’s really no juggling needed.

Have kids and then find out that they hog Renoise :P ? Your daughter being more interested in tracking than picking a contest winner in that video was adorable, Conner. :) She’ll one day become a tracking god at the rate she’s going.

Joule was spot on. Lose the girlfriend.

Girls require time and money
Girls = Time * Money
Time = Money
so: Girls = Money * Money = Money^2
Money = √Evil
Girls = (√Evil)^2
Girls = Evil

In all seriousness though, consider scheduling specific chunks of time dedicated solely to your relationship. So like: Wednesday between 5 and 6 go for a walk, Friday: cook a nice healthy romantic meal together. If you can follow through, she will know you really care about her and will be more willing to accept your time spent with Renoise.

these are all incredibly good answers. thank you everybody. i’ll post an update if it seems appropriate.

Rose petals, slowly digitised
Claiming a moment, like dirt falling from the fingers
In the forrest a subjective spectre,
Calls achingly to a memory never earned
Its bliss revealed when reconsidered
A stain inverted
Floral haunt.

Consider your girlfirend as a kind of ultimate musical instrument.

i think this issue runs a bit deeper than simply ‘her not liking the music/tracking’. like others said before me, if she doesn’t like a certain hobby of yours, discuss it immediately. i cannot think of a reason why my wife would be bothered by my music-making; she is happy i have something that is making me happy. she’d rather have me do this than spend my days on the couch being unhappy and annoying.

i produce mostly at night during weekends, while my wife is either out or in bed. because of noise and neighbors (i mean late at night), i usually compose with headphones on. no-one needs to suffer from sleeplessness because of my hobby. my wife just knows this is the way i like to spend my time, and she is fine with that. if she wasn’t, i wouldn’t have married her.

She can always suck you dick while you are making music for to have something better to do with her mouth than whining.

I’ve known girls that make enough noise to be considered an instrument, although I guess it does depend on how you play (with) them ;)

Great thread, and here was me thinking I’m the only 30-something year old here juggling work, wife, kids and trying to wedge in time to write music. I find late nights + headphones best when everyone is finally asleep but with my youngest at 2 months that isn’t working right now but we’ll soon get into a routine, I hope :)


This. Except 4 months. :D

I am having trouble tracking when my wife is around. It has nothing to do with her; she loves that I make music and is enthusiastic about everything I make. It’s about the fact that she’s not musically minded herself, and me being very self-conscious. I’m OK with making music around people who are musically minded as when it sounds shit, I can explain what I’m trying to do - and often they will help! I have a real reservation about making unrefined loud noises in the presence of someone who doesn’t “get” what I’m trying to do with it. I suppose headphones are a way to avoid this… maybe I should just get some and shut up.

My wife usually supports me in my tracking. Hell, she even got me Komplete 7, East/West Complete Composers Edition, Headphones and a KeyRig 49.

I usually play my track to her before letting anyone else hear them, and she gives some good feedback.

However, we have a son (1½ year) so I really have to think about the time I use when I track. Usually late night and headphones works great, but we have an understanding that if I suddenly is inspired or got some idea I wanna try out, that’s fine too.

To OP:
My best advice to you is to talk to your gf and find an arrangement that works for both of you. I think it’s important that if she’s not into your music, you shouldn’t force it upon her, like you wouldn’t like to be forced to read Bridget Jones’ Diary. It’s all a matter of respect for the person you love/live with.

I hope it works out for you.

I don’t have any problem withs music + girlfriend. We are living together, have our own interests, and I have my own time and space to do everything that is on my mind. I am mostly composing music parts in my head, and then when I have spare time, I just pop everything that I can remember in a song or two and am then working on a track on regular basis, in a undefined periods of time, since music isn’t my profession right now. More and more I am trying to get my girlfriend into music, because she has great vocal, she is singing all the time. I just have to come up with some music she can connect with.

I have a wife and two kids and there is no problem when all is organized together. Usually I have my time to make music in late evenings after kids are asleep, around 1-2 hours. Thats enough. I produce with my headphones, of course.