A little disclaimer may be in order here. Of course I don’t mean to suggest that everyone should arrange their marriages in the typical top/bottom structures that TPE and similar power exchange models adopt. I’m not advocating patriarchy, nor do I want a conservative-theocratic society where women are subordinated to men.
TPE stands for “Total Powers Exchange”. Observe the ‘exchange’ part. We’re talking of a mutual, consenting, loving relationship here. Those who can’t read what I wrote and instead insist on projecting their own horrors and from there conclude that I must be an abusive husband because I let my wife sit in handcuffs on the floor and occasionally whip her while I make music in Renoise – well, that just shows how little you know. That’s just prejudice. Why even attack a personal preference? You don’t find it appropriate to comment on my music taste, so why cross the line in regard to my choice of relationship?
Maybe to some people this sounds like abuse and fascism, but it really isn’t. Not even close. It’s a volontary game. We’re in it because we both want to, because we both love it and because it lets us be free as persons. Plus it is a “hobby project” that we can both enjoy and have fun with together 24/7.
In fact, we are equals in everything (but she actually earns more money than I do). She’s a feminist, but not a feminazi. We both engage in civil rights movements and want to live in a society where the individual is free to choose his/her own lifestyle in the pursuit of happiness. We’re strongly opposed to fascism in politics – just follow the link in my signature. She’s also a very strong, intelligent, creative and independent person with lots of interests and projects of her own.
Now one positive side-effect with TPE is that you gradually identify and map out the many power structures that are implicit in the relationship itself. This information is valuable, because it lets us discuss in which areas we should exchange powers and in which areas we shouldn’t (i.e. instead blast inequalities).
I don’t agree with the assumption that if your partner doesn’t please you (no pun intended), you disintegrate the relationship and break up with her. This isn’t my way of handling things. Especially over such trivial matters such as her watching trash TV or bitching about your hobbies. Instead try to inspire her to change that behaviour. But you need to take action, as a man, and lead your woman if she can’t always do it herself. That’s what love is all about.
And that’s all that I’ll say on this matter. I don’t see any value in spending time to clear out misunderstandings and prejudices. If anyone wants to know more about my lifestyle, just read further at takeninhand.com.
Good luck with your relationships!