Bad Ideas Thread

personally, i think the coolest thing about this is the Renoise logo in the upper right corner instrument window. if you want it, here it is, put it in /Skin/Logos/SmallLogo.bmp

airhorn triggered at the beginning of every even numbered pattern

that is excellent! using it and looks great

In a registered version the same voice stating “This is a registered version!” followed by ‘what is love, baby don’t hurt me’ 5 second sample, at slightly longer periods of time.

nice1, cheers!

thanks man, check out this dedicated thread for some more: https://forum.renoise.com/t/renoise-top-right-logo-customization/33004

whehehe lot’s off great bad ideas here! :lol:

Make all scroll bars infinite.

  • support 0 CPUs laptops and desktops

  • simple PC speaker output (like in FT2)

  • delete every working vst(i) plugin and keep the failed ones

  • negative Font H-Spacing or Font V-Spacing values

  • customise metronome sound bips (ability to replace it by farts)

  • integrated renoise songs obfuscator :

  • convert every text (track names, sample names, dsp names, song names, song comment…) to hex names, example “Track 1”= “547261636b2031” and being able to un-obfuscate it through a reverse function “4b69636b2031” = “Kick 1”
  • revert all samples in the memory and add a 0B00 command to play them backward
  • fill every space in unused tracks by adding short useless samples (1 sec of silence) and randomly selected useless commands such as 0900…
  • scramble samples order, or instruments order
  • use a black pattern background with a black main pattern font
  • During software inactivity, Renoise could launch a new grid computing background process called STI - Search for Terrestrial Intelligence. What would raise CPU to 98% or 99% and keep a constant cpu fan background noise (credits : original idea developped at http://totl.net/STI/ ).

  • render disk to song

+1

Yep. The absence of this has completed my impression that Renoise is still quite far from real professional software.

A real professional software needs to:

  • start up in no less than a minute, showing marquee progress bar(-s) and various very meaningful messages, including (but not limited to):
  • Initializing
  • More initializing
  • Scanning for unconnected devices
  • Recalculating color profiles
  • Loading selected sample assets
  • Decompressing integrated solution manager
  • Connecting to DRM provider driver (possibly resulting in a bluescreen as it’s not x64 compatible. But you cannot… and SHOULDN’T… run Renoise without an active Internet connection! Or you’re most likely up to something)
  • Checking for software updates (with Cancel button that is either always disabled or does nothing)
  • Installing updates (obviously whole Windows restart is required in this case)
  • Configuring user interface
  • Reducing lifespan of all detected hard drives
  • Synchronizing clocks with Pango-Pango
  • Calling mom
  • Wasting more time
  • spawn several autostarting background processes and services, including (but not limited to):
  • Renoise Background Active System Tray Agent (BASTA)
  • Renoise Cache Foundation Support
  • Renoise Error Reporting Configuration Service
  • Renoise User Experience Policy Management Engine
  • Renoise Integrated Intelligent Update Center
  • Renoise Quantum Cryptography Provider
  • register several hundred of useless and unrelated COM controls upon installation

These are not by any means bad ideas. This is real professional software development. cough Probably I should musicate moar than think up such sh**, no? :D

+1 :D

possible. browse through your Renoise folder. there’s a metronome.wav somewhere.

each Renoise release comes with a code name, e.g. [b]fisty fumbler[/b] or [b]pinky pancreas[/b] or [b]croatian creation[/b] or [b]woofy wanker[/b] OR… er… heck, make it a triple word name! … [b]jitter jeez johny[/b]!

sorry, [b]woofy wobbler[/b] is more like it…
say, donnit need a seperate thread-eh?

Gabber kickzz!! :D

place the word “Fruity” in front of every dsp.

True, I’ve found it in the Skin sub-folder (example for Win7 64bits : C:\Program Files (x86)\Renoise 2.7.1\Skin)

+1

And why not adding a new HD based speaker output?

y2k compliancy

a “print to fortune cookies” in the script terminal. the entire script is printed in two line per page increments with lotto numbers and a chinese word. this lady could be stuffing these cookies with useful bits of tools

I need achievements!

“BAD MIX achievement unlocked (Master clipped by 40db). You can now use the volume controls”
“ELEPHANT WHISPERER achievement unlocked (produced audible infrasound). You can now use octaves 2-9”